When I heard this one was out on DVD, my heart started to sing. I thought to myself, "Self, they'll release anything on DVD, God bless them!" Of course, since then, I haven't been able to locate it except in England. Hopefully, it'll be on AMAZON.COM or EBAY before too long. But until then, I still have my faithful VHS copy of:
THE NOSTRIL PICKER
Now if you are unfamiliar with this flick, toss an eye at the cover and think about the name for just a minute before you read on.
I'm sure all kinds of unsavoury thoughts as to what this flick is about come to mind. And guess what, if you can get by the low-production value, this movie mostly lives up to those thoughts.
Ya see, there is this warped bum named Joe. The kinda of dirty guy you see drinking out of a paper bag and browsing the top -shelf of the magazine rack. As unkept and disgusting as Joe is, he has a pension for hot young girls (the eighties, big hair tight jeans kind), which in his position, well, he can't get no satisfaction, as Mick Jaggar would say.
One day though, Joe's luck changes. Another bum, thirsty for a drink, teaches Joe a secret spell which he learned in Vietnam, in exchange for some of Joe's bottle. This spell, which is the most hiliarious feat of ritual magick I've ever seen, can transform Joe to look like anybody he wants. Now, of course, the possibilities of a power like this stagger the mind, but ole Joe uses it to look like a high school girl so he can go to highschool and hang out with highschool girls (and go into the change room and such). But soon this isn't enough for pervy Joe, soon he has to go all the way with these girls, all the way to savage rape, murder, mutilation and cannibalism.
Jeeze louise, Chim!!! This flick sounds cool, what's it doing in the WORST OF THE WORST???
Well to tell the truth, I considered doing it as a MOVIE OF THE WEEK, but after reading some opinions on the IMDb, I realized most people don't have the appreciation of ultra-low budget production values as I do. So here it is, and production value doesn't get much lower than this. The acting is pretty bad, and the murders are pretty tame by gore-hound standards. The killer uses one of those cheap spring blade plastic knives you get for a buck for some of the killing and forget CG or morphing technology for the transformations. Hell, they even skimpt on the nudity (some actresses want more to get bare I guess). This movie is as cheap as it gets. For some, that makes it a bad movie, but for me that is the charm of this one...
As I said, this one seems to be pretty much out of print here in North America, but I've seen PAL versions and a DVD for sale in the UK. Check out this
