Sailor Dorks
By: Merc
Chapter 2
Narrator: It's been a few months (again) since the Sailor Scouts
ever saw the Negaverse kick it in gear. The scouts decided that it's just
another Negaverse thing and didn't give it a second thought. Again, the
scouts are on Spring Break, which lasts a month because they go to year-round
school. Don't ask me that's just the way it is in Japan, honest to Buddha!
Anyway, Serena's at the mall with Lita and Mina checking cute clothes (not
guys for once) and accessories. Darien's walking with Reeny and trying
to keep her from singing that annoying Tuxedo Mask song one more time,
and Raye is at the temple doing another fire reading (you'd think that
after awhile she'd get hot). Amy and Greg are at the Malt shop with Michiru
and Haruka on a double date, and Hotaru is cleaning the house in order
to make enough money for a new computer after she accidentally crashed
her father's in a freak fuse-blowing accident. Luna and Artemis are at
Setsuna's home where Setsuna is feeding them tuna and some left over carp
before she goes to work. Now that we have everyone checked out, let's get
on with the show!
Serena: (Squealing) ooh, and they have pink and sugar pink and
light pink and fuchsia and hot pink and neon pink and sweet-baby pink and…
Lita: (Impressed) wow, and they have kiwi green and sea green
and jungle green and green and dark green and forest green and camouflage
green and…
Mina: (Very ditzy) cool, they have light orange, and sun yellow
and lemon yellow and neon orange and dark orange and light yellow and tan
yellow and…
Lita: This store is so cool!
Serena: I just want everything in it!
Mina: I wish I could!
Lita: I just wish I had the money for it all.
Mina: Ditto!
Lita: Hey, check out this way cool purse!
Serena: Ooh, looking pretty hot Lita!
Lita: Thanks!
Mina: I've died and gone to heaven.
Lita: That goes double for me.
Serena: That goes triple for me!
Meanwhile…
Amy: So that's how I saved those Rainbow Crystal carriers.
Greg: I thought you were very brave.
Haruka: Oh puke.
Amy: Hey!
Michiru: I'm much more interested in what Haruka's accomplished.
Greg: I don't think this double date is going to work out.
Haruka: That goes double for me.
Greg: Oh, well, thanks for letting us tag along.
Haruka: No problemo!
*Greg and Amy get up and leave the malt shop. They decide to go to
their favorite spot, a small desolate spot by the pond where no one goes.
Not even nosey little kids with annoyance problems. *
Greg: So, do good on your math test?
Amy: A+, you?
Greg: A+.
Amy: …
Greg: …
Amy: *Sigh *
Greg: Um…
Amy: What?
Greg: Nothing.
Amy: Oh.
*Greg pulls Amy up to him and again, as usual, gives her his own patented
Greg kiss. *
Meanwhile…
Haruka: Glad we finally got rid of them.
Michiru: Ditto.
Haruka: Michiru, you're so pretty.
Michiru: (Giggling) oh stop.
Haruka: Come on, I know a great movie that's showing down at
the Safari Ball Cinema!
Michiru: But what about our date?
Haruka: Well, it is pretty dark in there. Especially if you
sit in the back row…
Michiru: (Teasingly) you know Haruka, it's even darker at the
Genma Movie Theater.
Haruka: Genma Movies, here we come!
Meanwhile…
Reeny: … When I'm with Tuxedo Mask!
Darien: (Annoyed) Um, Reeny, could you please stop that.
Reeny: No way Tuxedo Mask!
Darien: Better be careful or the Negaverse will know who I am.
Reeny: (Humming) hmmm hmmm hmm hmm, WHEN I'M WITH TUXEDO MASK!!!
Darien: (Whispering) not so loud Reeny, the Negaverse might
hear you!
Zoicite: Too late.
Darien: @#$%!
Reeny: *Gasp * you said a bad word, now I'll have to get Amy
to destroy something valuable of yours with her screwdriver or some other
thingy!
Zoicite: That's all right, I've known for about a year, there's
nothing to hide.
Darien: You've known who I am for a year? %^&*!
Reeny: AMY!!!
Zoicite: (Very annoyingly) he he he he he!
Darien: ™ $%)=@#^&*(© ®@#$%^&*)™ ©(®!
Reeny: Whoa.
Meanwhile…
Prof. Tomoe: And when you're done vacuuming you can sweep the
back porch.
Hotaru: (Vacuuming) WHAT!?!?!?!?
Prof. Tomoe: I SAID, WHEN YOU'RE DONE WITH THAT YOU CAN SWEEP
THE BACK PORCH!!!
Hotaru: WHAT!?!?!?
Prof. Tomoe: I SAID… JUST FORGET IT!!!
Hotaru: WHAT!?!?!?!?
Prof. Tomoe: TURN THAT @#$% THING OFF!!!
Hotaru: WHAT!?!?!?!?!?
*Prof. Tomoe goes over to Hotaru and turns off the vacuum. *
Prof. Tomoe: (As calmly as he can without strangling her) I
said, when you're done vacuuming, you can sweep the back porch.
Hotaru: Oh.
Prof. Tomoe: Excuse me for a moment…
Hotaru: ?
*Prof. Tomoe walks outside away from his daughter. *
Prof. Tomoe: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Meanwhile…
Raye: (Chanting) oh great fire, show me something snoopy…
*A picture of Darien swearing appears in the flames. *
Raye: Nah, a little more snoopier.
*A picture of Michiru and Haruka kissing at the movies appears in the
flames. *
Raye: Ooh; now this is getting good. Oh great fire, get real
snoopy!
*A picture of Amy and Greg kissing appears in the flames. *
Raye: (Whispering) jackpot!
Meanwhile…
Setsuna: Here's some more for the hard-working kitties.
Luna: (Mouth full) mphmphmphmph (translation: This is great!)
Artemis: (In an Austin Powers voice) jackpot baby!
Setsuna: (Smiling) I'm glad that you like it so much!
Luna: *GULP!!! * Say, Setsuna, is this tuna?
Setsuna: No, it's dog chow, the only thing I have left in the
cupboard.
Luna: (Weird face) Uh, oh gee look at the time, it's time for
Serena's aiming lessons!
Artemis: (Even weirder face) oh, gee and to think that it's
also time for Mina's quote session too! Darn, guess we gotta go.
Setsuna: ?
*Luna and Artemis race out the door at lightning speed. *
Setsuna: ?
Chapter 3