Sailor Dorks
By: Merc
Chapter 4
Narrator: Finally, after about an hour and a half of conversations
that had nothing whatsoever to do with the Negaverse, Luna finally was
able to get the girls to go to the warehouse (after threatening Artemis
with his life). They transformed in an alley and went to the south corner
of Inokonumaki Drive where the Negaverse is, in fact, waiting for them.
Malachite: I thought you said that that prophet boy that you
unsuccessfully tried to capture had a relationship with Sailor Mercury.
Zoicite: He does, just you wait, they'll be here.
Jedite: Mphmphmphmph (translation: They had better be).
Zoicite: Don't worry Jedite, my plan is fool proof.
Neflite: That's what you said about the other 50 plans that
failed.
Zoicite: I'm only human.
Neflite: No you're not, if you were then you couldn't levitate,
teleport at ease, disappear, reappear, and have an evil laugh that echoes
no matter where you are.
Zoicite: Party pooper.
Moon: THE SAILOR SCOUTS ARE HERE!!!
Malachite: Why must you always blast out our eardrums when you
enter?
Moon: Because I like to, that's why!
Malachite: You annoy me.
Moon: That's my job, you can check the application.
Malachite: Where is it?
Moon: On my old birth certificate, that is, if you didn't destroy
it, too, when you destroyed everything in the Silver Millenium!
Zoicite: Well, at least this time my plan worked.
Neflite: Which one?
Zoicite: The one that gets the Sailor Scouts here in the first
place.
Neptune: What are you two Negaretards talking about?
Zoicite: Well, as usual we shall tell you what are plan was
so that you can think it over and defeat us once more.
Neptune: I'm all ears.
Zoicite: Well, we went through some old videos in the basement
of the castle, along with other things such as papers and journals, when
we came across something useful.
Neptune: And what were the papers and the videos of?
Zoicite: Our earlier battles with you stupid scouts. Anyway,
we came across a video that was shot about a year ago involving the 6th
rainbow crystal.
Uranus: What's a rainbow crystal?
Mars: (Pondering quietly) rainbow crystal, rainbow crystal,
the 6th rainbow crystal… Oh dear.
Moon: (Suddenly very alert) What oh dear?
Mars: You don't mean…
Zoicite: Yup, that boy who's got a relationship or something
like that with Sailor Mercury. We watched the tape and found out after
I forgot that he said to me that he could predict the future ever since
he was little. Well, we just used that to our advantage. We gave him our
own vision for him to tell one of you meddling scouts and make you come
here!
Mercury: Why you little…
Neflite: (Macho man voice) ooo I'm so scared!
Mercury: SHINE AQUA ILLIUSION!!!
Neflite: OH @#™ ©!
*SLAM!!! Neflite is instantly turned into a Negacicle. Mercury is fuming
and threatening to wring their little necks while the scouts try to restrain
her. *
Mercury: WHY YOU @#$#%&&*)@#%(!%^%#*© ®$#^$&*^!!!
Everyone: !
Chibi-Moon: I don't think now's the time to ask what that meant.
Zoicite: So you two do have a little something between you.
Jupiter: They've been going steady for 3 months.
Mercury: (Clearly upset) oh sure Jupiter, just tell it to the
world why don't ya!?!?!
Jupiter: Sorry.
Jedite: Mphmphmphmphmphmphmphmphmphmph!
Everyone: ?
Neflite: Mphmphmphmphmphmpmphmphmphmph!
Everyone: ?
Malachite: Jedite says *insert deep breath here * enough with
conversing, I ay we kill the Scouts! And Neflite says *insert even deeper
breath here * Jedite says enough conversing, I say we kill the Scouts!
Pluto: Well that just clears everything up.
Saturn: Mercury, why does your ice prevent them from talking?
Mercury: (In a know-it-all voice) think about it, Saturn.
Saturn: Okay. *Sailor Saturn sits down and starts to think really
hard. *
Mercury: Sometimes I wonder about you.
Saturn: Oh, I get it now!
Zoicite: Well, I'm all with Jedite and Neflite. I say we kill
the brats. ZOI!!!
*There's a huge amount of energy that's thrown from Zoicite, slamming
all the scouts and Luna. Artemis is at the temple still after being conked
out by Luna when she threatened to kill him if they didn't go to investigate.
*
Everyone: AAAAAA!!!
Luna: Ouch.
Moon: Owwwwwwwwww, wwwwwwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa thhhaaaaaattttttttt
hhhhhhhuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrtttttttttttttttt!
Mercury: No it didn't.
Neptune: Yes it did.
Mercury: No it didn't.
Neptune: Yes it did.
Mercury: No it didn't.
Moon: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Mercury and Neptune: Shut up, Moon.
Moon: !
Mercury and Neptune: What?
Moon: Well, I can understand but Mercury's never said anything
like that before. She's supposed to be the sweet sensible one with the
defensive-based powers.
Neptune: People change.
Moon: Well, that was certainly a very fast change.
Mars: You change faster than she does.
Moon: On normal circumstances, I wouldn't know if that was either
a compliment or not, but coming from you I know that it's a criticism.
Mars: What's your point?
Moon: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa yyyyyooouuur sooooooooooo
mmmmeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnn!
Mars: Oy…
Venus: Double oy.
Jupiter: Triple oy.
Mars: All right you Negaturds, just for making me mad after
a short conversation, you're gonna get toasted!
Malachite: Whatever Mars.
Jupiter: Better watch out, I read somewhere that lightning and
fire are nothing to mess with.
Malachite: Gee Jupiter that took you, how long to figure out?
Pluto: I'm mad too!
Chibi-Moon: Me too, I haven't had so much as one sentence in
this whole conversation!
Pluto: Ditto!
Saturn: That goes for me too, I haven't had so much as about
3 sentences!
Pluto and Chibi-Moon: That's more than us.
Venus: I haven't had one sentence in this conversation except
for a measly double oy!
Jupiter: I've only had about 2 sentences!
Uranus: I've had one!
Mars: Well, what do you all say?
Pluto, Chibi-Moon,Venus, Jupiter, Saturn, and Uranus: LET'S
TOAST 'EM!!!
Zoicite: I think we're in trouble.
Mars: MARS FIRESTORM!!!
Jupiter: JUPITER OAK EVOLUTION!!!
Pluto: DEAD SCREAM!!!
Saturn: I still can't remember my power.
Mercury: Gimme a break.
Venus: VENUS LOVE AND BEAUTY SHOCK!!!
Chibi-Moon: SUGAR PINK HEART ATTACK!!!
Uranus: WORLD SHAKING!!!
Neptune: Hey don't leave me out! RISING TIDE!!!
Jupiter: All right, we rock!
Malachite: OOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!
Zoicite: YYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!
Jedite: MMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!
Neflite: MMMMMMMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHH!!!
Zoicite: Owey owey owey owey owey!
Malachite: (Moaning) oh extreme pain.
Neflite: (Also moaning) mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmppppppppphhhhhhh.
Zoicite: Where's Jedite?
Malachite: Uuhhhhhhh, I think he's unconciouce.
Zoicite: Uh-oh.
Moon: MMMMMOOOOOOONNNNNN SCEPTER ACTIVATIOOOOOONNN!!!
Neflite: Mph!
Zoicite: Scramble!
*The 4 generals (yes, even Neflite somehow, call it a plot hole if
you like) disappear and then reappear in another spot. *
Zoicite: Ha ha ha ha ha!
Venus: What are you laughing about?
Zoicite: Oh, just the fact that we got away, that's all.
Venus: Oh really?
Malachite: Um, disappear, now!
Jupiter: JUPITER THUNDERCLAP ZAP!!!
Neflite: Mph!
Jupiter: Mwahahahaha!
Chibi-Moon: What was that for?
Jupiter: I dunno. I just always wanted to do that evil cackle
that they always do.
Chibi-Moon: Why?
Jupiter: Just because, it's fun!
Chibi-Moon: Oh.
Uranus: Darnit, they got away!
Venus: Oh well, they had to if we ever want to keep using these
cool powers of ours.
Pluto: I'm with Venus on this one, I like my Death Scream. It's
really cool!
Uranus: World Shaking isn't half-bad either.
Jupiter: I have the coolest powers of all!
Mars: Think again, Jupiter.
Chibi-Moon: Actually, I think I have the best powers of anybody
here!
Uranus: Sure, if you call Sugar Pink Heart Attack powerful and
scary.
Chibi-Moon: It's affective.
Venus: You're powers sound even sadder than mine.
Jupiter: She's got a point you know. Love and Beauty Shock sounds
a whole lot better than Sugar Pink Heart Attack.
Chibi-Moon: Everyone's a critic.
Moon: Darn!
Everyone: What?
Moon: I should've at least killed one of them! I think I need
to work a little on my aim.
Luna: A little?
Pluto: Try a lot.
Moon: Shut up, Pluto.
Pluto: I will if you will.
Moon: Uh, well, shut up anyway.
Pluto: Can't make me.
Moon: Now you sound like Reeny.
Pluto: Now there's a scary thought.
Chibi-Moon: Hey!
Chapter 5