Sailor Dorks
 By: Merc

Chapter 3
Narrator: It's the next day and all the girls are at (as usual) a scout meeting. Everyone is there, including the outers (who almost never come except for in these stories). Lita, Mina, and Michiru are sharing their adventures in the park while Amy and Serena slowly sink farther and farther under the table.

Luna: And Darien was doing what?
Michiru: I know, it was too disgusting even for me. I mean, the guy was practically eating her face!
Raye: Whoa, go Serena!
Serena: (Blushing) *Insert weird noise here *
Haruka: There's no need to be embarrassed Serena. After all, you and Dare were, like, meant to be.
Serena: (Turning yet another shade of red) Must we talk about this?
Mina: No, we can always talk about Amy.
Lita: Ya, you wouldn't believe what we saw last night!
Almost everyone: What?
Artemis: Mph?
Lita: Mina and I were walking home from the mall right? Well, we decided to take the long way home through the north side of the park. Well, we were, like, walking and talking when suddenly we saw Amy and Greg on the bridge. Mina and I watched as Greg bent down and kissed her. Man oh man Amy, I've never seen you kiss like that before. That was like, French city!
Mina: Totally!
Amy: (An inhumanly deep shade of scarlet) why are you guys always following him and I? Ever heard of the word privacy?
Almost everyone: No
Artemis: Mph.
Amy: Oh.
Luna: Well, to get off of this subject of poor Amy, I think the Negaverse is acting up again.
Artemis: MPHMPH! MPH? (Translation: NEGAVERSE! WHERE?)
Luna: Nowhere Artemis.
Artemis: MMMMMMMPPPPPPPPPPPHHHHHHHHHHH!!! MPH MPH MPH MPH!!! (Translation:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!!!)
Mina: Not this time!
*Mina grabs Artemis and holds on to him (incredibly) tight. Artemis soon passes out from lack of oxygen. *
Mina: There, now he shouldn't run into the stove or microwave or somewhere where he can get hurt and slam more money outta my account.
Hotaru: You are so mean.
Mina: Since when?
Raye: Forget him already! We've gotta go fight those stupid @#$%^&* before they kill us!
Everyone: !
Raye: What?
Reeny: @#$%^&*!
Serena: Reeny!
Reeny: What?
Amy:  (Holding Luna P. in one hand and a screwdriver in the other)  Remember what I said about naughty words, Reeny?
Reeny: Luna P.!
Amy: Well?
Reeny: Fine fine fine fine! I'll never say it again I promise!
Amy: (Putting Luna P. on the floor and the screwdriver in her pocket) Good girl.
Setsuna: Not to be nosey or anything, but do you always carry a screwdriver around with you?
Amy: Yes.
Setsuna: Why?
Amy: Just because, I like to.
Setsuna: Why?
Amy: I like to work on things. Mostly computers, sometimes other machines, depending on who wants me to work on what.
Setsuna: (Confused) okay.
Serena: (Whining) I don't wanna fight the Negaverse! I was having too much fun taking a break!
Mina: Isn't 3 months enough?
Serena: No.
Lita: How long is?
Serena: I dunno, a long time.
Lita: (Confused) um, okay, whatever you say Serena.
Haruka: But you're our leader, we cannot fight without you!
Lita: You sound almost like a poet.
Haruka: Shut up you.
Lita: Pthththththththth!
Haruka: Pththththththth!
Raye: Pthththththththth!
Michiru: Um, pththththththth!
Serena: I want in! Pthththththththth!
Reeny: Me too, pthththththththththth!
Luna and Amy: Why are you all spitting?
Mina: Eew, I'm getting soaked!
Serena: (Pointing to Lita) she started it.
Raye: I just wanted to spit at Serena.
Serena: Hey!
Raye: That's right, I'm talking to you, you sad excuse for a human being!
Serena: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Raye, you're so mmmmmeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnn! Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Hotaru: Shut up!
Amy: Really!
Serena: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Raye: (Shouting) mind lowering the decibels a tad?
Serena: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
Luna: SHUT UP!!!
Serena: !
Luna: Listen to me and listen to me good, the Negaverse is at it again I can feel it!
Serena: *Sniff * *sniff * but where, Luna?
Luna: At the south corner on Inokonumaki Drive in the deserted warehouse.
Haruka: Where do you come up with this stuff?
Luna: Call it a hunch.
Michiru: If that's a hunch then you're one major psychic.
Luna: Well…
Reeny: What's a hunch?
Hotaru: Haven't a clue.
Amy: How could that possibly be a hunch?
Luna: All right so it's not a hunch, Greg just told me about it.
Raye: Oh yea, ole prophet boy who's going steady with the group nerd.
Lita: (Knowingly) you mean the guy who was making out with her at the park.
Amy: Hey!
Luna: Well, what are we waiting for?
Raye: Serena to stop sniffing, Reeny and Hotaru to figure out what hunch means, and for Setsuna to say something besides a lame comment on Amy's odd habit of carrying a screwdriver around.
Setsuna: Well, you were the one's leaving me out of the conversation!
Raye: Test got ya a little short tempered huh?
Setsuna: Oh shut up ya little @#$%^!
Raye: !
Artemis: (Now awake after being unconscious for awhile) mphmphmphmphmphmphmphmphmphmph. (Translation: The Negaverse has probably already taken over that sector of Tokyo at the rate we're going.)
Mina: When did you wake up?
Artemis: Mphmphmph (translation: awhile ago).
Mina: Oh.
Artemis: Mph, mph (translation: yea, oh).
 
 Chapter 4  1