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The N64 Man: Prologue

By Schala

Before the FFML, there was alt.games.final-fantasy, a haven for Final Fantasy players. However, a haven can quickly be invaded once it is discovered, and such was the case of this newsgroup. Someone going by the handle of "Meowing Bastard" (rather appropriate, considering the many "meows" he used in his posts) sent many posts to the NG that blasted FF fans. Who he was and why he did such a thing is still up for some debate. Eventually, though not without some hurt feelings and annoyance, MB left almost as quickly as he had blown in. (Because I didn't have enough time to read all the posts in the newsgroup, I don't have a full grasp of what had happened. If anyone can provide further details, please let me know.)

The FFML was created in early 1997, and from there we go forward a few months. The list was still in the glory days of John Daley having to look through all the posts and forward them to the list. Soon, though, members began getting mail from what seemed to be several people, but closer inspection showed all the posts to have the same address. And the contents were the same: All the posts consisted of song lyrics that degraded FF fans and the game itself. Outraged members complained to John and to the sender's postmaster. Eventually, the posts stopped coming, but not before they had shocked and angered many people.

Forward a few months again. Some time in mid-1997, the FFML was abuzz with news and rumors of the much-awaited Final Fantasy VII. Some eagerly awaited the game; others were rather skeptical about it. Much of the skepticism came not only from magazine articles that hinted at the game's contents, but also from the fact that FF7 would be on the Playstation.

Now for many FFML members, playing FF7 would mean buying a whole new system, one that was unfamiliar. Would a PSX be a good investment? What kinds of RPG's would there be for it? Despite the many concerns voiced by the FFML, one member blithely went out and bought herself a PSX in preparation for the Big Day of FF7's release. She even went over to Software Etc. and prepaid a horrendous amount in order to reserve her copy.

This member, Schala, waited patiently and finally got her copy of FF7. However, because its release came in the middle of the college semester, she could not play it very often. Those rare times were made even rarer when her PSX started going wild on her. First the memory card whacked out. Then the game conked out several times. Finally, the game refused to load altogether. What made it even more frustrating was that these misfortunes were random; sometimes the game would load, sometimes it didn't. Sometimes she'd play for two hours and nothing would happen, and sometimes she'd play for only five minutes before the game froze.

Schala was close to tearing out her hair in frustration. She'd gotten her PSX console second-hand and so did not have a warranty. In near-desperation, she turned to the FFML. She described her problems, asked if anyone experienced the same, and if so, was there any remedy?

Fortunately, many people were sympathetic and replied. One suggested that the lens was loose and should be taken in for repair. Another suggested that she turn the console upside-down while the disk was spinning in order for it to load, saying it was perfectly harmless to both and console and the disk, and that it had worked for him several times.

Now a short time before this, the N64 Man had subscribed to the list, and you can guess which system he supported. He had received all the posts detailing Schala's PSX problems, but remained silent on the matter. It was only after the "turn-the-console-upside-down" suggestion that he came out of the closet. He totally blasted the PSX, basically saying that the PSX must really be crappy if you have to turn it upside-down to get it to work. He replied to the other suggestions as well, and his answers pretty much said one thing: D@#$ THE PSX SUCKS.

Quite a few people did not really appreciate the N64 Man's language and attitude. He used all caps and lots of exclamation points in his posts. For awhile it seemed as if the Console Wars would flare up again.

So the N64 Man was already on the unfavorable side of many members when another problem arose. Someone on the list noticed that the N64 Man's e-mail domain was the same as that used by the Meowing Bastard. Chaos developed an elaborate theory concerning the N64 Man and the MB. Suspicious FFML members questioned the N64 Man, and his earlier behavior had already condemened him in many people's eyes.

Caught in the middle, the N64 Man swore he was NOT the Meowing Bastard. To prove it, he gave his password to someone, who then checked out his account and determined the N64 Man was speaking the truth. He was not the MB. The investigator informed the list members, and slowly, people accepted his statement. Spacecat also forwarded to the list another theory about a person called SteelCypher, a.k.a. Cypher, being the MB. Cypher had apparently been an FFML member, and he said he used our discussions to give him some kind of "authentic" background whenever he went on a.g.f-f.

For a long time, however, there has been a measure of animosity toward the N64 Man, if not because of his behavior, then because of the possibility that he was the Meowing Bastard. Slowly, people have come to accept him, although unfortunately there will always be that stigma attached to him.

N64 Man on Trial

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