It was an unusually quiet day in the Vertigo Board, with anyone who was there milling around a Pub from John Constantine (Hellblazer)'s London.

Beldar sat at the bar, talking to a large empress penguin in Poison Ivy garb. He handed her the bag of Pokeballs.

"Thanks for letting me use these," Beldar said. "The diglett will need some rest, but he's okay."

"You didn't hurt my Marill, did you?" PenGwen asked. "You know that's my favorite."

"No," suddenly Beldar remembered. "But I lost your Pikachu."

"He's all right," Papergirl said from behind the bar. "He's been with me." Sure enough, standing next to her on the counter by the bottles was the plump yellow rodent, taking glasses out of a sink, drying them and handing them to Papergirl.

"Pi-kaa!" it said, smiling.

PenGwen waddled behind the counter. "C'mon Pikachu, It's time to go." The pokemon obeyed, hopping onto the penguin's shoulder. "Sorry about causing the PaperMonkey effect a while ago," she added, looking at Papergirl, then Beldar. "But I was so concerned about Flamestar."

"That reminds me," Papergirl said. "Pulse called a while ago and said your monkey pokemon is at Papermonkey Headquarters, looking through Beldar's Spiderman collection."

"It's what?!" Beldar exclaimed.

"That's not mine," PenGwen said. "I don't own an Aipom. And -- you can understand what Pulse is saying?"

"Sure," Papergirl said. "Doesn't everybody? Anyway, I'll see if it belongs to Z-Mage."

"OK, I'm going now," PenGwen said as she opened the refrigerator door. Inside was an ice-cave, on the far wall was an arrow pointing inward and downward, with "FARK.com" written on it. PenGwen looked to Beldar and said "Slide," then disappeared into the cave. The door quietly closed itself.

Silentbri and Bouncing Boy then entered the pub.

"...And I was so busy at the survey board, I hardly knew a major battle was happening at all," Bri said.

"Well *I* was all ready to save the day, but Golden Lion slapped a 'The End' on the story before I could really get in and kick butt," BB said. "What's up with that?"

"That's it!" Bri exclaimed, whipping out a pad and pencil. "Top five lame endings," he said, jotting down notes. "And what will mine be..."

"Can you lay off it for a minute?" BB said, annoyed. "We just came from the survey board. You're getting obsessed."

"YES! Top five obsessions," Bri said as he scribbled. "Thanks, man, I'll have top-five surveys for weeks!"

Bouncing Boy ignored him and walked up to the bar. "What's up?" he said to Beldar. "See you haven't gotten that superhero costume yet."

"I'm working on it," Beldar said. "I didn't really win that Corrie, so I've got plenty of time."

Just then, Silentbri, who had walked up beside Bouncing Boy, dropped his notepad. He had a shocked look on his face.

"Papergirl!" he said, pointing at the holster on her hip. "You've got the moderator gun!"

"Uh, yeah," she said coyly. "Jonah gave it to me. Since Howyadoin resigned..."

"How resigned?" Beldar said. "But why?"

"You'll have to ask him," Papergirl said. "If he's still around."

Beldar ran outside. He knew he should have checked in on the boards over the weekend, but he'd been so busy offline. He found Howyadoin in the alley, climbing on a motorcycle.

"Howyadoin!" Beldar shouted to him.

"Fine," he said, smiling. "Actually, I'm doing a lot better now. The board's in good hands, I'm getting my priorities in order, I'll be all right."

"Yeah," Beldar said, "but was this because of something we said, or because of Jack's cult..."

"The cult had nothing to do with it," How said. "Maybe you should join it yourself. This is just something I need to do."

The look in How's face was of a man who had made up his mind. There is a whole world outside the Internet, outside CBR, and that's where he needed to go.

Beldar understood. He held out his hand. Howyadoin took it in a firm handshake. Then let go and grasped the handlebars as he kicked the bike to life. With a roar and a wheelie, How was gone.

"Ouch!" Beldar felt something fall on his head. He looked down to see a Nutrageous candy bar. He looked up to see Plan 9 floating in his hoverchair above him.

"I can see my house from here," 9 said. "So, my trusted ally, are you ready to continue the next phase of global simian domination?"

"Don't know," Beldar answered. "I'm still surveying the monkeys of the world on their comics preferences. That will be crucial to the overall plan."

Plan 9 came down to Beldar's eye-level. "I understand," he said, though the look on his face indicated he didn't. "Meet me in the Comm board when you're ready for the next phase." Then he shimmered away.

"You have no intention of actually helping him, do you?" Papergirl said from the back doorway of the pub.

Beldar smiled. "Do you still have that application form for Jack Tango's cult? I feel like being one of the good guys for a while."

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