Scene: The Rumbles Board. It ain't pretty. There are charred bodies everywhere. Everything not cemented into the ground is either in pieces, being used as a weapon, or both. Every so often a berserker scream can be heard, as one of the Rumblers claims victory over another. Think of the fight scenes in GLADIATOR or BRAVEHEART, except with super-powers. Papergirl, Greg Hatcher, Slick, Expletive Deleted, Fenris, Wolvie's Girlfriend, Golden Lion, AussieBoy Peter, and Howyadoin pull up in the Mystifying Machine. Greg's driving. He pulls near a small group of posters and opens a window.

Greg Hatcher: Excuse me, have any of you seen Z-Mage or Demonicuss around here?

Unidentified Rumbler #1: Superman could too beat Thor!

Greg Hatcher: Um . . . that's not what I asked.

Unidentified Rumbler #2: Vulnerability to magic!

Unidentified Rumbler #1: Super Speed!

Greg Hatcher: Okay . . .

AussieBoy Peter: Don't bother Greg, they're Rumbling. We'll have to find someone taking a break from the fighting.

Slick: Maybe Parallax . . . *is interrupted*

Howyadoin: None of them suspect me.

Papergirl: What?

Howyadoin: Beldar was flawless. They all believe I was being impersonated. If only they knew how much their stupidity will cost them. *chuckle*

Fenris: *whispered to Wolvie's Girlfriend* What's he doing?

Wolvie's Girlfriend: *whispered* A voice-over. He does this every so often. Thinks no one else can hear him. It's pretty cool. Watch this. *loudly* Gee, I wish we know who poisoned Jack Tango.

Howyadoin: She wonders who poisoned Tango. So do I. If I could incriminate someone else, that'd make my job a lot easier. Then everyone would trust me.

Expletive Deleted: But I thought Plan 9's gang did it?

Howyadoin: They still suspect Plan. I can play that to my advantage. They don't know that we planned to have Tango shot, not poisoned. Though it should have been obvious. Our brainwashed assassins are spur of the moment. They're triggered, then they kill. Simple as that. Fly was set. As soon as Tango had said "price increase" he would've been a dead man.

Golden Lion: Gosh! That's terrible!

Wolvie's Girlfriend: . . .

Wolvie's Girlfriend has a familiar flashback, this time involving Golden Lion, the word "Gosh" and the Spice Girls' "Wannabe".

Wolvie's Girlfriend: *mumbling* Kill Golden Lion.

Golden Lion: What was that, R.J.?

Wolvie's Girlfriend: *louder* Kill Golden Lion. *draws pistol*

Papergirl: Someone stop her!

Fenris leaps from his seat in the back of the van and lands on top of Wolvie's Girlfriend. Disoriented, she begins firing randomly, perforating the roof of the van. Fenris, afraid she'll hurt someone, grabs the gun in his jaws and tosses it to Papergirl. Wolvie's Girlfriend struggles towards Golden Lion, this time to strangle him, but she can't escape Fenris. She eventually calms down.

Golden Lion: What just happened here?

Greg Hatcher: Let me guess, another one of Plan 9's "agents?"

Papergirl: *grimly* Let's find out. *points pistol at Howyadoin's head* Enough pussy-footing around. Tell us everything.

Slick: Hee! She said "pussy-footing!" *PG glares at him* . . . Sorry.

Howyadoin: She's onto me. I don't know how, but she knows. Time for some spin control. *loudly* What are you talking about? I don't know anything! That was Beldar, impersonating me!

Papergirl: Stop that voice-over crap! We can hear you!

Howyadoin: What the hell is she talking about? Huh, I think I can use this. *loudly* Voice-over? Are you crazy or something?

Papergirl: *points pistol at a more important anatomical area, if you know what I mean* Talk.

Howyadoin: *frightened* I'll talk! I'll talk!

Papergirl: Why'd you do it?

Howyadoin: Power! I should've been the cult leader, not Tango! So when Plan 9 offered me a job, I took it! With a few well-timed assassinations, we could've taken over the world!

Papergirl: I can see Greg Hatcher and Jack Tango, but why kill Golden Lion?

Howyadoin: But we didn't! He wasn't on our list! I don't know who tried to do that!

Papergirl: *glares at Howyadoin, pushing the gun closer to you-know-where* Really?

Howyadoin: *sobs* No, not really! He was one of our targets! Beldar brainwashed Wolvie's Girlfriend to

Papergirl: All right then. *holsters pistol, Howyadoin sighs with relief* Greg, it's obvious Z-Mage and Demonicuss aren't around here. Let's head out.

Greg Hatcher: *slightly intimidated* Where to?

A series of explosions rock CBR. Plumes of smoke appear in the distance, along with giant bursts of flame and electricity.

Golden Lion: Looks like that came from the Superman Board!

Papergirl: Then that's where we're headed. Pedal to the metal, Hatcher.

Greg Hatcher: Yes, ma'am. *stomps on gas pedal, a screeching sound is heard and the van moves rapidly towards the Superman Board*

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