Yesterday,

All those backups seemed a waste of pay.

Now my database has gone away.

Oh I believe in yesterday.

Suddenly,

There's not half the files there used to be,

And there's a milestone hanging over me

The system crashed so suddenly.

I pushed something wrong

What it was I could not say.

Now all my data's gone

and I long for yesterday-ay-ay-ay.

Yesterday,

The need for back-ups seemed so far away.

I knew my data was all here to stay,

Now I believe in yesterday.

MATERIALISM

A yuppie in 'Miami' opened the door of his BMW, when suddenly a car came along and hit the door, ripping it off completely. When the police arrived at the scene, the yuppie was complaining bitterly about the damage to his precious BMW.

"Officer, look what they've done to my Beeeemer!", he whined. "You yuppies are so materialistic, you make me sick!", retorted the officer. "You're so worried about your stupid BMW, that you didn't even notice that your left arm was ripped off!"

"Oh, my gaaawd...," replied the yuppie, finally noticing the bloody left shoulder where his arm once was, "Where's my Rolex?!!"

SHOW ME YOUR PANTIES

A little girl runs in and tells her mom,,Look Joey gave me a quarter!

Her mom asks why he gave her the money, and the little girl

says,,because I climbed a tree. The mom then tells the little girl that

Joey just wanted to look at her panties and when she climbed the tree

she showed them to him.

Well the next day the little girl comes in and says "Joey gave me a

dollar!" Her mom asked if Joey wanted her to climb a tree again. The

little girl says "yes, but I didn't let him see my panties,,,I took them

off before I climbed the tree."

GOLFING IN THE BUTTERCUPS

There were these two best friends out playing golf one beautiful day. After hitting their tee shots, both noticed that neither was even close to the fairway. One friend hit it way left, the other way right. They decided that since the shots were so bad, they'd just meet up at the hole. So the first guy went off and looked and looked and finally found his ball sitting down deep in a field of beautiful Buttercups. He promptly pulled out his 7 iron and started whacking away. Buttercups were flying everywhere, but the ball wouldn't come out. Well, finally Mother Nature got mad.

She came up from the ground and said to the man, "I've created this beautiful field of Buttercups and you have no respect for them at all, now they are ruined. I'm going to have to punish you. Since these are Buttercups, your punishment is that you cannot have butter for a year."

The man started to laugh and went back to whacking at the Buttercups. Mother Nature said, "Hey, this is no laughing matter. What do you find so funny?"