Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.

Dogs miss you when you're gone.

Dogs look at your eyes.

Dogs aren't threatened by a woman with short hair.

Dogs feel guilt when they've done something wrong.

Dogs don't feel threatened by your intelligence.

Dogs understand what "no" means.

Dogs don't brag about whom they have slept with.

Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch(and they never

laugh at how you throw).

Dogs are happy with any video you choose to rent, because

they know the most important thing is that you're together.

Dogs understand if some of their friends cannot come inside.

Dogs think you are a culinary genius.

Dogs are nice to your relatives.

Dogs don't mind if you do all the driving.

Dogs don't step on the imaginary brake.

Dogs admit it when they're lost.

Dogs don't weigh down your purse with their stuff.

Dogs do not care whether you shave your legs.

Dogs aren't threatened if you earn more than they do.

Dogs mean it when they kiss you.

You are never suspicious of your dog's dreams.

You never wonder whether your dog is good enough for you.

You can train a dog.

You can force a dog to take a bath.

Middle-aged dogs don't feel the need to abandon you for a younger

owner.

Gorgeous dogs don't know they're gorgeous.

Men only have two feet to track in mud.

Men can buy you presents.

Men don't have to play with every man they see when you take them

around the block.

Men open their own cans.

Men don't eat cat poo on the sly.

Men don't shed as much, and if they do, they hide it.

Men don't drool. Well, most don't.

Men can do math stuff.

When men have to go outside in the rain, they don't stand in the

doorway and whine.

Dogs have dog-breath ALL the time.

Holiday Inns accept men.

Both take up too much space on the bed.

Both have irrational fears about vacuum cleaners.

Both are threatened by their own kind.

Both mark their territory.

Both are suspicious of the postman.

Both are bad at asking you questions.

Both fart shamelessly.

Both like dominance games.

Both tend to smell riper with age.

Neither of them tells you what's bothering them.

Neither of them does dishes.

Neither of them notice when you get your hair cut.

Neither knows how to talk on the telephone.

Neither understands what you see in cats.