1. COVER YOUR STUMP BEFORE YOU HUMP

2. BEFORE YOU ATTACK HER, WRAP YOUR WHACKER

3. DON'T BE SILLY, PROTECT YOUR WILLY

4. WHEN IN DOUBT, SHROUD YOUR SPOUT

5. DON'T BE A LONER, COVER YOUR BONER

6. YOU CANT GO WRONG IF YOU SHIELD YOUR DONG

7. IF YOU'RE NOT GOIN TO SACK IT, GO HOME AND WHACK IT

8. IF YOU THINK SHE'S SPUNKY COVER YOUR MONKEY

9. IF YOU SLIP BETWEEN HER THIGHS, BE SURE TO CONDOMIZE

10. IT WILL BE SWEETER IF YOU WRAP YOUR PETER

11. SHE WONT GET SICK IF YOU WRAP YOUR DICK

12. IF YOU GO IN TO HEAT, PACKAGE YOUR MEAT

13. WHILE YOUR UNDRESSING VENUS, DRESS UP YOUR PENIS

14. WHEN YOU TAKE OFF HER PANTS AND BLOUSE, SLIP UP YOUR TROUSER MOUSE

15. ESPECIALLY IN DECEMBER, GIFT WRAP YOUR MEMBER

16. NEVER, NEVER DECK HER WITH AN UNWRAPPED PECKER

17. DONT BE A FOOL, VULCANIZE YOUR TOOL

18. THE RIGHT SELECTION WILL PROTECT YOUR ERECTION

19. WRAP IT IN FOIL BEFORE CHECKING HER OIL

20. A CRANK WITH ARMOR WILL NEVER HARM HER

21. NO GLOVE, NO LOVE!