The reason it's always so difficult for this president to tell the

truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth is because it's

usually three different stories.

--Sam Donaldson

If the president could convince every woman in America that the

Bible says oral sex is not adultery, he'd even have my vote.

--Newt Gingrich

What's wrong with extending my probe? The president did the same

thing.

--Kenneth Starr

The special prosecutor is asking me to give oral testimony to the

entire Grand Jury.

--Monica Lewinsky

Shouldn't the president be held to the same standards as a TV

sportscaster?

--Marv Albert

The president should promise to spend the rest of his life trying

to find the real person who had oral sex with the intern.

--OJ Simpson

If I had to spend all day trying to find jobs for every bimbo who

swore she didn't have sex with the president, I'd never get any

of my own work done.

--Vernon Jordan

The president should take up skiing.

--Al Gore

If you're looking for me this week, I'll be in the bunker.

--Saddam Hussein

Practicing safe sex in the Clinton White House means making sure

the door is locked.

--George Stephanopoulos

In last week's Cabinet meeting, the president asked us to go out

and win one for the zipper.