Down at the senior citizens home, one of the gals set up a heavy date with

one of the old gents. Later that evening, the gent took out a condom and

started to open the package.

"You don't have to worry about birth control at our ages," she said.

"It's not that. I have arthritis, and the doctor told me to avoid dampness..."

A priest, rabbi, & lawyer take 10 scouts on a rafting trip. During the trip,

the raft starts to deflate and upon noticing only 10 life vests, the rabbi

says: "Well I guess we should leave these for the boys".

The lawyer replies, "Fuck the boys."

The priest says: "You think we got time?"

A young man walked into a drug store and asks the sales lady, "Could I have

some deodorant, please?"

The sales lady replied "Certainly, would you like the ball kind"

"No" the young man answered, "It's for my underarms!"

An older, heavy female patient pleads to her Doctor; "Doctor, please, you

have got to help me. I have terrible problems with silent gas. I have dozens

of attacks an hour. In fact, since I have been with you , I have had a few

incidents of silent gas."

The Doctor rubs his chin for a second and says; "First thing we have to do is

check your hearing."

There was a hooker who worked between the cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul.

She was known as the tail of two cities.

A young inexperienced trucker enters a wore house for first time.

Madam: "What do you want 69, half and half, around the world? All our girls

specialize you know"

Trucker: "Lady I don't know what any of them things are."

Madam: "You'll have to make a selection. All of our girls specialize."

Trucker: "That first one you mentioned. What did you call it?"

Madam: "69"

Trucker: "Yes that one sounds real nice. I'll take that one."

The trucker is led into a room and the 69 specialist enters and assumes the

position... After a few minutes she has to fart and does so in his face..

After another few minutes another fart in his face... After a few more

minutes she straightens up and asks...

Girl: "So how do you like 69 so far?"

Trucker: "It's real nice. I like it very much. Except I don't think I can

take 67 more of them."

One day a man was driving down a lonely highway when he saw a nun

hitchhiking. So he decided to pull over.The nun approached the vehicle and

asked, "Would you be kind enough to give me a ride into town sir?"

The man thought about it for a second and said, "Sure, but only if you screw

me."

The nun was shocked, but thought about the miles and miles she would have to

walk before getting to town and said, "Well OK, but only if you're a

Christian".

"Of course I am." eagerly replied the man.

They did their thing and were driving to town when the man turned to the nun

and said, "I have to confess. I'm not a Christian."

The nun looked at him with a smile and said, "I have to confess. My name is

Harry."