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1/28/02 ~ Luke
Last night was guys' night out, so the natural
choice was to roll out to Deja Vu. For those of you who don’t
know what Deja Vu is, it’s an intellectually stimulating experience
which opens your mind to new possibilities. Uh...and puts
lots of boobies in your face. Yes that's right, Deja Vu is
a wonderful strip club, and we rocked it for all it was worth.
I'm gonna give you a breakdown of the night. Al, Kevin, Jimmy,
Rob, Ian, Nick, Vince, and myself all knew what we had to
do. We left the CMU campus and made our way to Saginaw in
the hopes of getting to the mall. Once we realized that nobody
knew how to get there and that it closed in 25 minutes, we
decided Mc Donalds would have to do. Upon getting our food,
my boy Rob and I got into a pie fight. At this point I'd like
to stop and thank Mc Donalds for selling 2 for a buck cherry
pies. I can proudly say that I emerged victorious from the
pie assault, with only a minor burn to remind me of how dangerous
baked pastries can be.
After leaving Mc Donalds we went to see Orange County, a relatively
stupid movie but with the help of Jack Black was worth seeing
at least once. Some people might call it a night after that,
but we were just getting started. We made our way north to
Bay City, after driving around pointlessly for about 20 minutes
we came to the conclusion that we needed some guidance in
order to make to the almighty Vu. Some may call it fate, some
may call it chance, but when we stopped at that red light
and glanced at the car next to us we were amazed to see none
other than Jesus! Yes Jesus! Well, at least he sure looked
like Jesus. Anyways, I got his attention and he gave us DETAILED
directions on how to get to the Vu, I'm thinking he's been
there before. So we finally made it to our destination, Deja
Vu. After we got over the initial shock of seeing boobies
everywhere, we settled down on the tip rail for a sophisticated
evening of screaming our asses off, and it paid off in many
respects.
For instance, one time the announcer said the loudest guys
got free lap dances. Naturally we went completely insane and
made such a seen you'd think we were back on the pie battlefield.
However the girls picked Al, Kevin, Nick, and myself as the
winners. The ladies took us to some booths in the main room
where everyone was sitting and the announcer said GO! And
the ladies started dancing, so far so good. But then the music
stopped and the announcer said, wait wait wait, the free lap
dances are from you guys. So we all had to strip for these
hot ass ladies in front of like 200 people, I was laughing
so hard that I didn’t know what to do. But to make it all
better I had on a pair of white boxers that I had gotten for
a birthday present from my neighbor Kelly that say I LOVE
BOOBIES all over them. So let's assess the situation, I can't
dance, I'm in front of 200 people, and I'm wearing boobie
boxers. The moral of the story is Kevin won, that's right
Kevin won the strip contest and got a free t-shirt, he put
us all to shame. Just one more reason why white guys shouldn't
dance.
After the dancing fiasco it was Jimmy's time to shine. It
was time for the beer bong! After being selected once again
for being the loudest, Jimmy competed against another shmuck
in the show down of a lifetime. Jimmy task was not a hard
one, but one of courage and all out will power. Jimmy had
to eat a 7 layer burrito, do 25 jumping jacks, and then beer
bong 2 pitchers of horrid O' Dules alcohol free beer all in
just two and a half minutes. The stakes were high; a year’s
VIP pass to the Vu was on the line. Jimmy started strong out
of the gates, that burrito didn't know what hit it. The jumping
jacks flew by so fast you'd swear he was a machine sent from
hell to win this contest. But even hell can freeze over; Jimmy
met his match while trying to take down the second pitcher.
It seemed that the still undigested Mc Donalds and the newly
acquired burrito were running laps in his stomach. While his
efforts were noble, it seems that even the noblest man can
be destroyed by a simple two and half minute binge towards
victory. Poor Jimmy, poor poor Jimmy. But then more boobies
came out and everyone was happy!
As the clock struck 3am, we decided it was best that we get
going back towards CMU. But little did we know what lay ahead.
Two freakin hours later we arrived back on campus on what
was supposed to be less than an hours drive. We got horridly
lost on the way home; nothing can upset two carloads of college
kids faster than driving through endless cornfields on a Saturday
night. We finally arrived back on campus, as a tribute to
our evening we stole two traffic cones. They are a memorial
to the trials and tribulations of that night. May it live
on forever in the hearts of those who hold it most dear. Whatever,
I'm just glad I got to see so many boobies. Peace out children.
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1/24/02 ~ Luke
I've never been more proud to be an American,
today is a great day at Luke's Domain. Today the American
solution to everything arrived at my dorm room, the AB Energizer.
Yes that's right  folks
slap a motor on a belt and let it shock you towards a well
cut midsection. Some people may be skeptical towards the AB
Energizer, questioning it's effectiveness and over-all health
risks vs. benefits. Well to these people I say FUCK OFF!!
The AB Energizer is endorsed by this guy, and look at how
happy he is. If wearing this silly looking belt can bring
me closer to looking like this guy then it is by far worth
the time.
Due to laziness I've recycled to clip of the week back to
Speedy the rabbit takes a ride. Mostly because I've lost my
video editing software, but aside from that it's a damn good
clip so check it out. I've provided links to my picture on
both Hot or Not and Groovy Booty so now you can rate my ugly
ass any time you'd like. Keep in mind how ugly you are before
you go pointing fingers. That's all for now my children, take
is easy.
1/21/02 ~ Luke
I don't know what to say, I'm lazy so I hope
you all can forgive me. The ceiling is finished with a grand
total of 751,000 hours of AOL, we've already begun on one
of the walls bringing us ever closer to the almighty 1,000,000
hour mark. I am very  pleased
to announce that others have been so inspired by this crusade
that they too have started acquiring AOL cd's to create more
forms of OSP artwork. Just look at this fine stockpile provided
by DR G1ZMO. I just learned he doesn't have a ladder, but
when he gets one he'll being gluing away 1,000 hours at a
time. Atta boy G1ZMO, keep us posted!
I came to a discovery the other day. I'm in college!! Yes
it's true Luke finally realized where he was, and do you know
how I came to this discovery? I found myself washing some
clothes in the bathroom sink, and that was when I figured
out I was really in college. Yesterday was my 19th birthday,
so post happy birthday to me. I went sledding in an old sand
pit with my boy Rob, at the bottom the hill is a jump/cliff.
Well needless to say we tubed towards this dangerous drop-off
and managed to hurt ourselves in the appropriate fashion.
But we got pictures and you can bet they will get posted just
as soon as Rob can get them developed. I'm actually able to
post again, so I'll keep you all informed. Peace out. . .
1/11/02 ~ Luke
Quick update, the ceiling is almost complete.
I'll have a more in-depth post for you when it's done.
1/10/02 ~ Luke
Mmmmmmm, Juicy Fruit™
good!  With
that being said, it's time to fill you all in on the latest
happenings of my dorm room. I'm sure you've all been to a
Wal-Mart some time in the last couple of months and noticed
those huge bins of 1,000 hour AOL trial CD's. Well I did,
and upon this discovered I realized that for the first time
in human history AOL is going to accomplish something productive.
AOL is going to become my new ceiling. Thanks to the speedy
unwrapping of Al, Kevin, and my newest roommate Dennis. The
constant river of hot liquid glue pouring from Ryan's glue
gun. And to my steady hand, placing each CD meticulously.
This artwork is not for the impatient, for it has taken us
many hours, and we're not even half done. The latest count
revealed that we now have 348,000 hours of AOL on our ceiling.
Our goal is 1,000,000 hours, and we will succeed. Tonight
holds in store another raid on the Wal-Mart CD stronghold.
Followed by a trip to Target to get the proper glue. And finally
we will once again be sticking CD's to the ceiling, bringing
us closer to our goal a thousand hours at a time. I now present
to you the beginning of the AOL ceiling crusade. . .
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As can be expected, I'll keep you all updated on the progress
of this little adventure in postmodern ceiling graffiti. But
for now I have to go fix my wonderfully fucked up class schedule,
have fun kids.
1/08/02 ~ Luke
Well kids here it is, I'm back and I really
don't have anything to say. Classes start tomorrow, hooray
for that. Wait no...anyway, today I spent $333 on like 6 fucking
books, I love college. This is much the reaction I had when
I saw the bill. One of the things I've noticed this far about
college is that everything costs money. Today I went and changed
my meal plan: $15 fee. Apparently someone pressing a button
and changing one number is worth 15 dollars these days. Actually
that picture was taken while I was chillin at Blingo's
house in Detroit. That was a fun night. This just in, Al says
and I quote, "What's up?" And that was all she wrote.
Anyway, I don't have much else for this post tonight, sorry
I've been gone for so long. Haven't really been able to be
at a computer lately. I'll leave you with another sexy picture
of me. Cause I know you can never have enough Luke.
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You know you love
me, don't hide your feelings for my sexy ass!!
1/08/02 ~ Luke
I'm alive, so don't worry. I've got a ton of
shit to do right now, but I'll make a post later.
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