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Updated this week (May 12th): About Me...

When is Mule HQ updated? Click here | Site Last Updated May 12th, 2003

Praise Bill Hicks, it's an update!

This week's Mule HQ secret word is sporadic!

Hello, fellow maladjusts. After a long period of stagnation due to my actual heavy involvement with the outside world, this site is back with the kind of vim and vigour quickly subsiding into apathy and self-loathing that it has made its stock in trade.

Over the coming few weeks, expect to see many the update, as Mule HQ returns to its former understated glory. Oh, and a big thankyou to those of you who made it their obsession to hound me by mail into reviving the site - your slavish and disturbing dedication is touching.

Meanwhile, if you like what you see at this site (or even if you don't, I'm not fussy) then click here and vote for Mule HQ. More votes mean a better ranking; better ranking mean more visitors; more visitors mean I'll be swimming in riches!!! Oh yes!! I-- wait, I don't make any money from this site. Oh.

3000 poor saps served since July 3rd, 1999

About Me... updated May 12th
Learn more about the kind of sick f**k that churns out a page like this when there are plenty more important things to do. This page traces my life from wild-child to part-time alcoholic and everything in between.

"Ask Yemi The Pastry Chef!" updated December 7th, 2002
The page for those people with questions or problems who have exhausted every other avenue of help, with sage advice being dealt out by everyone's favourite European 'Pastry Professor', Yemi!!! Come ask for help - or witness the help he has given to others - and change your life (not necessarily for better) today!!!

Editorials and Academic Essays Index updated November 27th
Contains both articles written by me for university publications, as well as essays written during the most vital two years of high school: where concentration and focus are the watch-words. Evidently I didn't get into law - I wonder why?

It's...MR SPONTANEOUS updated April 3rd, 2002
SERIES 4 IS HERE: It's Mr Spontaneous - the internet serial written about a compulsively spontaneous man, and in a completely spontaneous fashion! No agonising over scripts, situations, characters or plot here; it's unplanned serial comedy as it should be: generally unfunny and uninteresting!...You'll laugh, you'll cry, then you'll remember you actually have something important to do instead.

This Week's Mule HQ Hot Topic Vote updated February 27th, 2002
Cast your vote in this week's poll on a hot topic which is affecting the World immensely, or just view previous poll results
NOW A NEW POLL EVERY WEDNESDAY!

The Random Musings Of P.H. Schöevstenki updated January 6th, 2002
This page chronicles the wisdom, life and pearls of wisdom of ex-Russian prison camp internee Petrov Henri Schöevstenki on everything from sport, to religion, to raising children....and possibly helping me run a more successful website... Maybe that's stretching it, though. Come back often to see what the Muscuvite man has to say about love, life and borscht.

Ambitions and Resolutions For My Life updated December 14th, 2001
Read all my most private ambitions and hopes for this year, and beyond...by now you should know this is a load of crap

Phrases You Will Never Say Or Hear updated October 23rd
The new page acting as a catchment for all of those hideous, unspoken/unspeakable phrases and weird sentences taken out of context. Word study may bore most people, but with this page you'll be hurriedly ringing to re-enrol in school and actually bother to learn English this time around.

Subversive Filler Page updated October 18th
This is the page you see if you come to the Contents through the front door of the site. At the moment, it features a heady warning in these days of terrorism. Click away!

The Brand-New Australian Dollar new for May 12th
Throughout 2000 and the first half of 2001, the Australian dollar has languished in far murkier depths than even it had previously experienced, pathetic excuse for a currency that it is. Join in the push for a new monetary system in Australia with this outline provided by Mule HQ with input by special guest fiscal correspondent Alex 'Moneybags' Murray.

Mule Chat new February 14th!
Not exactly anything creative or even entertaining; step inside the chatroom to speak to other demented freaks and fans of the classic hit television series F-Troop. (Warning: Interesting Chat Requires At Least One Other Person - You may be hard-pressed to find one other person visiting this site)

Muletalk Magazine - News and Current Affairs updated Dec. 11th, 2000
The hard-hitting page which sees journalistic standards left at the door in search of truth (well, actually, in search of a visitor to my site, but anyway). If you were familiar with the barn-storming success that was the Sydney Olympic Day-by-day Wrap, then you know what you're in for with this page: informative articles and pretty colours.
Check it out today, or risk being out of touch!

"Bored Internet Searches" updated Nov. 9th, 2000
The stupidest idea yet for a webpage, where I alleviate boredom by searching for weird shit on the internet. Send in your requests or just turn and run while you can.

"Accutron" Predictor 3000© updated October 25th, 2000
Now with actual jokes! The page that you need to see...because after all "The Future Keeps Getting Closer"

That Was The Games That...Um, Were? Was? I Don't Know
For two weeks in September 2000, my city of Sydney came alive as hosts of the 27th Olympiad, and the internet came alive with hilarious satire. Sometimes it worked, sometimes - well, sometimes it failed miserably. Check out what 2 or 3 people were raving about during this past Olympiad...

The 'Mule Of Fate' updated
Want to know what the future holds for you? Then simply entrust your fate with a man wearing a decapitated mule's head...Ask the Mule Of Fate a question and receive a totally random answer. Hey, no-one said it was reliable...

'Under Construction' Page
New to Mule HQ is this page that is always this close [signifies exactly how close with thumb and forefinger] to being finished, but never quite gets there. Ironically enough, it's regularly updated. Go figure.

Mule HQ: Second-And-A-Quarter Anniversary Spectacular!
Join in the festivities as Mule HQ, humble Goddess of Lame Webpages, celebrates her second-and-a-quarter anniversary. Celebrity Tributes, Memories, and what's to come in the next two-and-a-quarter year...

Mule HQ's E-tastic Land O' Plenty
In compensating for the crappy name, this may actually be a good page - But how can I be really be objective? This page basically provides new and interesting angles to the tired old e-mail games you're used to, like chain letters and such...Check it out, I dare ya.

New Characters At 'Mule HQ' For Winter 2000
Check out the new ensemble of comedy characters featuring on the page in the near future, including The Apathetic Doctor, Titanium Dan©, Unwilling Stuntman and the Amish Computer Geek...Characters to amuse, titillate and then (after the short-lived novelty wears off) annoy, infuriate and drive you to homicide....

Villains Through History That Weren't Very Good
As usual, Mule HQ: "Your quality source for total bullshit"©....this slab documents history's lesser-known 'n' lame-ass 'men of evil'....
BEHOLD THE TERROR

"Othello: An Uplifting Saga"
Updated every Sunday....The retelling of this classic Shakespearean tragedy, designed for the kind of people that have never heard of Shakespeare in their life...."Shakes-WHA?"

Appraisals & Feedback
Give me some much needed feedback on this website --whatcha like, whatcha don't...Plus some tough questions are asked...

Explore Your Own Hard-drive!!!!
The ultimate in website features for people that have run out of ideas!!!...

Links updated January 12th, 2002
The internet is a vast and daunting entity...let me make the ride a little easier for you incompetent fools....just kidding, OK?!!....sheesh

Site Last Updated on May 12th, 2003

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