Stalker Application

Name:John Holmes
Address:69 Pain Avenue
Phone Number:(212) 555-KILL

Please list three references you have known
for at least a year not including relatives and clergy

NAME             RELATIONSHIP             YEARS KNOWN
Grim Reaper      Best Friend              Since Birth
Gary Coleman     Best Friend              Since Childhood
Jodie Foster     Lover                    Since early 80's

Please list your three most recent jobs from the most
recent to the least recent.

1.EMPLOYER:Promise Keepers International
JOB TITLE:Volunteer
SUPERVISOR:Jerry Falwell
CONTACT: http://www2.promiskeepers.org/
2.EMPLOYER:National Rifle Association
JOB TITLE:Ammo Dispenser
SUPERVISOR:Charlton Heston
CONTACT: http://www.nra.org/
3.EMPLOYER:Ewing Oil
JOB TITLE:Special Operations
SUPERVISOR:J.R. Ewing
CONTACT: http://www.dallas.ndirect.co.uk/jrhtm

Please list any special qualifications for the
job you are applying for

I am a big fan of All Things Serial Killer
http://www.sondralondon.com/

What would be a good time to contact you?
Oh, don't worry about THAT, I know where to find you...

Man John you certainly seem qualified.   I suppose I could pencil you in a for a stalking or two.  What were you for Halloween last year?

Home  Back