Fending Off The Beast....September 8, 1999

Fending Off The Beast....September 8, 1999

Today, the demon of depression has reared its ugly head. It is my own fault, really. With all the external stress going on im my existence right now, I should have recognised the need to set aside the money for my medication. However, as is typical when it comes to really taking care of myself, I had other priorities. Honest, I did.

Sadly, the wearing off of the stuff is a great deal quicker than the building up, and the physical ramifications even worse. It has been only two days since I took my last pill, and today, I have had chronic fatigue, vertigo, tremors, headache, incoherent thought processes, and fluxuating emotions. It was so bad, I slept through the time I was supposed to pick up a client, and even worse, completely forgot to call until well into the evening.

Of course, not having my antidepressants has been sinking me into depression. I am being swallowed whole by the demon. I cannot write because I cannot think straight, and because my hands are trembling. I cannot stop berating myself for not having the funds to get my prescription refilled. I am chastising myself even more that I may have to ask my parents to pick it up for me.

So, here I am, a thirty year old man, and I cannot even afford to get a $70.00 prescription. Of course, this is not helping me haul myself up out of the beast's bowels.

Perhaps I just ought to go back to bed.

....Blessed Be