Persecuted....September 1, 1999

Persecuted....September 1, 1999

She stormed into my rented house with such a smug audaciousness that it scared me; it sent me warp speed into a state of paralized perplexity.

Or, was I returning home to find her there? I cannot remember now. It is so hazy. My state of mind does not matter,...

...she was on a mission. That much was clear. I could tell, standing there dumbfounded, by the look of scorn on her face, the determination of her movements. Nothing and no one was going to stand in her way. But in case I tried, she had her brother with her to run defense. The threat did not even need to be articulated. I just knew somehow, that he was there to protect her. It was a ridiculous attmept at intimidation though, not only becuase I never even so much as raised my voice to her but he was partially disabled. He never really approved of me, though, and the smirk on his face validated that he was pleased.

How is it that he could carry out those boxes...

...she was packing? Who did she think she was? I have not seen her for years, have not had the desire to even speak to her. Hadn't she remarried a few months ago? Yet here she was, stuffing my spartan collection of necessities and decor into boxes without even taking care to ensure their protection. Utensils, dishes, cookware, wall hangings, towels, sheets, furniture, she was taking it all. I tried asking her what she was doing, why she was there. She did not hear me, or refused to acknowledge me. I tried standing in their way as they shuffled my posessions out the door and into his truck, but it seemed she and her brother could walk right through me, like I was an aparition.

How horrifying, this dejavu. She already got everything she wanted, the sum total of the items around which we built our life. She made her point, that she need not be the quiet, gentle soul that I fell in love with if it no longer suited her purpose. She stripped me bare, I lost my identity, I had to reinvent myself. She purged,...

I felt so helpless and out of control. Out of sheer fright, anger, and self-preservation, I called Frieda, somehow knowing that she was free at that very moment to help me. My voice echoed in my almost bare house, punctuating my emotional state before fading into nothingness. By the time Frieda arrived, everything was gone. They were...

Gone. I awoke suddenly and with frightening reflex. It took more than a few minutes to reorient myself to reality, to realize that I had been having a rather disturbing dream. Such was how I began my day.

I would have been married to my first wife for ten years today. Despite a rather diabolical bride, I am getting remarried in less than three weeks.

Please pardon my persecution complex.

....Blessed Be