Mornings Be Damned....October 20, 1999

Mornings Be Damned....October 20, 1999

A new obstacle has been erected with respect to my writing. I have started tutoring First Nations children again.

Every weekday.

Starting very early in the morning.

I have never been a morning person.

Moreover, I am most inspired to write late at night, when all is quiet, peaceful, and dark. It is a time when I am most relaxed, open and creative.

Having to get up so early, I cannot stay up as late as I would like to, and thus I fear my writing will inevitably suffer. I just cannot write in the light of day, or too early in the evening.

I have the curse of the night owl.

I have been this way for as long as I can remember. I used to give my parents a hell of a time getting me to bed. Once I was able to make my own decision about when to go to bed, it was never before one or two in the morning. In my late teens, Lowlandz and I would more often than not stay up until three or four either watching television or talking.

It is a part of my soul, I am afraid. I just feel too out of sorts having to go to bed early, and having to get up early as well. As my mother, who got me up faithfully every school morning for thirteen years can attest to, I can barely manage a grunt in the morning until after copious amounts of coffee have coursed through my system, and several hours have passed.

If our work days started at noon, I would be much happier. I would probably feel better, too. Being a night person and having to support myself by day are not copasetic, and my health is suffering as a result. Especially with each year that passes. Like a child, I find myself needing more and more sleep as the years go by. No longer can I crash for three hours and be up are ready to have at it again for another twenty hours or so.

I hate routine.

I hate conformity even more.

Both are much too stifling.

No wonder I am tired all the time.

....Blessed Be...