Life Is NOT A Bowl of All Bran...July 9, 1999

Life Is NOT A Bowl Of All Bran...July 9, 1999

The two most serious illnesses of my mother's are genetically inheritable: bi-polar depression and colon cancer. Unfortunately, the latter has fed into the former, and she is not well. Furthermore, the prognosis is not optomistic.

Just as unfortunate is that I have realized my genetic propensity for depression, albiet I am not manic as my mother is. Mine is fairly mild, and easily treatable as long as I am a good patient and take my medication. I am not often a good patient, but I try. Blessed am I that I have not sunk to suicidal lows for almost fifteen years. In an effort to not realize my propensity for colon cancer, I am trying to follow the doctor's advice by eating lots of fibre rich foods. I have always been an advocate for preventative health care.

While parusing the grocery store yesterday, I discovered that All Bran was on sale. I had a brilliant idea:

"One bowl of All Bran and I'll be fibre full for the day", I naively thought to myself, proceeded with "What a good boy I am".

Late last night I decided to epilogue my good intentions by actually enjo...choking down a bowl. Even with one part All Bran to ten parts milk, it was dry, dry, dry. And it was gritty. And it had no pleasurable taste. Excuse me while I martyr myself in the name of good health.

I came to a few realizations today. The first was that next time I have a bowl of All Bran, it will not be just before bed. I thank the Spirits that my room was well aired with the fan going last night. I wondered this morning why Reekie and Moo were on the other side of the room, and not occupying their respective places at the foot of the bed. Second, in the highly unlikely even that I will ever ingest another bowl, instead of milk, I am going to douse the stuff with vegetable oil and garnish it with cheese. All that cholesterol will surely counteract the colon blow effect; I could not stray far from the house all day. Finally, there should be a surgeon general's warning on the box, or at least it should be available only over the counter at the local pharmacy. I now know why it was on sale; they cannot get rid of it. This is what it is like to be healthy?? Move over All Bran, and make room for a double whopper with cheese.

At the risk of being sued for punitive damages by Kellogg's, Life is NOT a bowl of All Bran. I'll pay them off with the funds raised for plugging Burger King, or, I'll "accidentally" spill a cup of McDonald's coffee on me.

Please be advised that the role of Ms. Crabtree is now being played by Quincy.

I had a very pleasant dinner with Quincy, Meris, Pookie, and Ms. Thang this evening. We had one of my favourites, burritos (without the beans, naturally). With respect to helping us have a positive sibling relationship, Quincy is trying. Things have been healthy for a few consistent days now. I have not had that frustrated, "I am repressing, repressing, repressing and being triggered triggered triggered" feeling that often accompanies us when we know there are issues and we just cannot confront them. Plus, Quincy is a helluva cook. In honour of her attempts, I have changed her name to Quincy. It was one she chose herself.

Yes, she found out about the journal. About its existence, she confronted Willow who, thankfully, did not lie to her. I would never ask someone to lie for me in the interests of self preservation. As to the journal's url, I gave it to her myself. After reading about my feelings about our family, and about her, she admitted being hurt. I told her I understood that she was hurt, but that I could not apologise for my feelings. She added that it seemed I had little positive to say about her. I admit, I have not had much motivation in these past weeks to be positive about my sister and our relationship. However, this is not to say that I do not feel she has positive qualities as a person, and I do not want readers to misunderstand.

She has an untapped capacity for generosity and caring, she is brilliant, she is a good writer, a good teacher.

She tries hard to be a good mother, and it is a daily struggle. They are not easy children to raise. It is not an easy time to be a parent. It is never an easy time to be a single parent.

She represses these great qualities in the name of survival.

I need her to know she is no longer at war.

The battle is over.

She is still here.

She won.

All she needs to do is sign the treaty.

Here, Sis, you can borrow my pen...

...Blessed Be