"Things...." July 10, 2000

"Things...." July 10, 2000

Dusk...

....and I can hear birds chirping outside the bedroom window; undoubtedly their last dittys of the evening, bidding the day adieu to the accompanying symphony of warm colours fueled by a setting sun which is almost drowned amidst encroaching rainclouds.

Things are better, not great, far from spectacular, but plainly better.

Coming off the Paxil has not been a joyous task, but I believe I am through the worst of the withdrawl symptoms. Now all I have to look forward to is a propensity to sink into a deep depression. Nevertheless, I have been feeling okay mentally and emotionally, and this time I am not alone, and lack the ability to isolate myself. That was easy to do before The Goddess moved home, and made expeditious the sinking. As for Herself, she missed her meds for almost a week now, and taking Paxil for OCD as opposed to depression is a whole different kettle of fish. She should not miss any. However, she ran out of refills, and largely due to her demeanour on which I wrote last, she was lax in making a doctor's appointment to get a new prescription. After my last entry, and a good jolt of the cattle prod from Alyx, I finally discussed how I was feeling with The Goddess. Moreso, I printed said entry for her to read, as well as the email Alyx sent in response to that entry. The Goddess was humbled, we talked, she cried. The end result is that she got her refills (albiet just today, but better late than never), the house is well on its way to being as it was, and she started taking her meds again just before her mental well being started getting really wingy.

I am being persued by the taxman. He is getting nasty. Nevertheless, I summoned the gumption to call him today, and was able to stave him off until I can go through a former appeals process. It is not the principle I owe that I am troubled about, but the late penalties which almost double what I owe that I am trying to refute. Paying the princile is doable, the works is not. I am only hoping they also see things this way, or I will have no choice but to declare bankruptcy. Then they will not get anything.

I am getting weary of living life on the edge. I also see all that I have been able to accomplish admist a great amount of adversity, which at this point I am not willing to give up over taxes. It would make the last five years completely moot.

Yet, on the brighter side, and as anticipated, Alyx BBQs a great steak. Thanks, man. I'm good for the summer.

Not....