"Scrotum Head...." April 18, 2000

"Scrotum Head...." April 18, 2000

Midnight...

....and today was an odd day, full of mixed feelings of exhaustion, sympathy, frustration, anger, sorrow, excitement, and joy.

I was exhausted most of the day after another night sleeping on the couch. The Goddess' sleeping problems have yet to be curtailed, and after I saw how much she was smoking last night during the candle party, I knew I might just as well start out on the couch instead of ending up there. It was a good thing, as she indeed had coughing fit after coughing fit, mixed with periods of apnea, choking, and vomiting. I will be glad when she goes back to the sleep disorder clinic; I will be happier still when we can afford a king size bed. I will be most happy when she can manage to curtail her smoking habits, even if just a little bit.

So I dragged my ass all day long today, despite having a late afternoon nap. Herself had all the windows open throughout the afternoon (undoubtedly because of all the smoke floating around), and even though it was a balmy thirteen degrees outside, such warmth never translates inside. The bedroom was freezing, the air breezing, the bedding missing, and I tossing and turning.

I felt sympathy for Alyx today. After driving to the nearest oncologist, an hour and a half away, he could not go through with the bone marrow extraction he has been dreading since his diagnosis. For whatever reason that is not even worth exploring at this point, he has had a tremendous amount of anxiety about the test. He has a point, however, in not putting himself through the invasive proceedure; given the fact that if cancer were in his marrow, it would not alter the course of his chemo one iota. And we have six months to prepare him for having the test once the chemo is completed.

Alyx was concerned that people would be disappointed in him. Anyone that counts shouldn't be.

My frustration, anger, and sorrow stem from not being able to contact my father today to wish him Happy 60th Birthday, and to bestow him with the gifts The Goddess and I bought. Part of me could not help but think that he and Mom were spending his day at my sister's, without a thought to contact me. I tried several times to call him today to no avail.

Happy Birthday, Dad. I love you.

And finally, at least I was able to end the day on an excited and joyful note. In preparation for his chemo, Alyx got his head mostly shaved today, so I decided to join him and get mine shaved, too.

Scrotum Heads 1 and 2.

Lowlandz makes 3.

It was exciting to see all my hair landing hither and yon in the salon, and it actually looks pretty good. Alyx's does, too, but he is having a harder time believing it. After the crew cut, he and I went to Lowlandz's to show off the new doos, and had a bit of a guys night to boot.

And The Goddess cannot wait to get my head between her legs.....

....Blessed Be...