"The Milk Of Human Kindness"....February 25, 2000

"The Milk Of Human Kindness"....February 25, 2000

Just Before Midnight...

...and I find myself reflecting on this past week with a sense of frustration and humility. Sitting here bathed in candlelight, with a surprisingly mild, gentle breeze wafting in through the slightly opened window, listening to the most relaxing music I can find without having to trek downstairs, I realize just how exhausted this week has made me.

I was getting a message of preparation from the spirits when I became concerned about all the time I was unfortunately missing from clients as a result of my car's ills over the last three weeks. One of the agencies that contracts me called to discuss consistency issues yesterday, and I must admit I cannot blame them. The bottom line is the well being of the clients, and if I am not able to provide consistent service, then they need to find someone who can. Such is the nature of human services.

I am pleased, therefore, that the week is finally coming to an end, and that it is a relatively happy one. I got my car back today, after all.

Apart from the insomnia, fatigue, and crankiness, the stress has been manifesting itself physically in the form of migraine and what I believe may be TMJ. The latter, a piercing, stabbing, throbbing, perpetual pain that extends my entire left jawline, is feeding into the former, a piercing, stabbing, throbbing, perpetual pain in my frontal lobes. If the condition does not improve in the next few days, I have promised The Goddess that I would brave a trip to the family physician.

Yes, I am such a guy when it comes to going to the doctor. I will put it off for as long as my mortality does not feel direly threatened. But I am not the only one in my close circle of friends.

You know who you are.

Yet, beyond the aches, beyond the stress, and beyond the fatigue, shine bright, soothing rays of humility and appreciation for the unconditional generosity, symapthy, and support offered to me by my friends during my perpetual strandedness. There is The Goddess, whose gentle touch, kisses, and deep understanding of me that makes each day worth living. There is Freda, who offered me her car for the next few days so that I could work. There is Lowlandz, Rhi, and Alyx, who, among a plethora of other things, keep driving me back and fourth to the service station so that I do not have to pay astronomical cab fares. It is all the other examples of kindness to me that you have shown, and continue to exhibit, without conditions, without expectations of reciprocation, but just because.

I do not feel worthy. I do not feel as though I give enough back. I cannot express what it means to me to have you in my life.

I can say thank you...

...to infinity ......

....Blessed Be...