At The Funeral

1. Fernando Beginning His Fictive Story Before His Death, Thus:

Guess where we are, what we do for a living. That is to say: what we're doing here, Francesca and I. . . . When I opened the window to let some air flow through the curtains, or under and around the curtains, Francesca called Bernardita and whispered to her something. No, I do not believe in secrets, and have long ago given up on even crossword puzzles. Anyway---Francesca took off her shirt, took off also her brassiere, walked towards me and told me, "Your hair looks blue from here," as she neared me at the window, on the windowsill, on the windowsill sitting. She was walking slowly, her breasts taking in rhythms that looked real, not surreal. What
    A surprise. Quite unexpected. I thought we were here only to finish the assignment. Bernardita is our student assistant. What a surprise. Naturally, she (Frances) will later take off my shirt, and this is because she is the elder person and I am a shy man. Naturally, yes. And I was cold, okay, and so was the air blowing faintly on my back. Is that okay? So was her left palm on my shoulders. Cold, I mean. Except her breasts, warm on my naked chest, beating (this chest), as my heart pumped heavily without rancor, my chest without odor, and she was looking out the window. There, fragrantly, she saw from the window . . . the sky, the green lawn, the guava tree, the patch of eggplants at the corner of the fence. I was watching . . . her neck, but I was imagining the color of her thigh parts when I, suddenly, free of shyness suddenly, raised suddenly her skirt from behind and touched the bottom of her underwear which only a while ago I saw as light violet, when she sat on a dusty book on the dusty floor searching for the letter inside one of the books or magazines in front of her. This was in the house where Carlo and Ka Gunding and Teresa were taken hostage. Before they were hanged at the acacia tree near the gate. The rope painted blue and silver. The organization's colors.

2. Fernando Before The Boat Sank:

You know where we are, professor?
    I don't know where we are, Marinduque I think.
    What is that?
    That's a ship, Fernando.
    It has no lights.
    It's a pirate ship.
    It's large!
    It's there.
    Jesus, we're going to hit it.
    Speak Tagalog, Ka Fernan, nakakadiyahe na.

3. Fernando On His First Date, 1982?)

I want to fuck with you, he said.
    The girl left, fuming.
    Fernando was puzzled. He didn't know what to do with the rose.
    He urinated on it, praying the girl gets gonorrhea.

4. Fernando Holding Onto A Length Of Timber, December 1989.

Tell my wife I love her, sir. Tell her I wanted to write a novel about her. Tell Bernardita to get off politics. Tell her I tried, I did my best to stop dreaming. The pus is getting darker. Tell her, my life was for her.

5. Fernando At His Funeral, February.

6. Fernando (?) Ending My (?) Lying/+ -

Guess where we are, what we do for life. That is to say, what we're doing here, Francesca and I, Bernardita and Ka Steve, me fucking a piece of liver, and the flowers are all poor.

7. The Story of Fernando, March Ending:

Blue and silver,

8. Francesca Ending The Life of Jose Rizal; or Sly Nun-Fucker/"& + - + - + - /

Bang. You die on Good Friday, you sly nun-fucker.

9. Bernardita Ending . . . &/

10. Fernando Changing His Mind About His Death/= - + &

Blue and silver, comrades, nakakahiya. Bernardita?

11. Jose Rizal Possesses Fernando Who Disowns Him For Aguinaldo, Even As The Latter's Sexist Army Marches Off In March To Fight In The Eternal War;

12. Francesca and Bernardita Spit Simultaneously; My Saints Comfort My Psyche, Making Me Bold.

The three of us were hanged from an acacia tree, . . . the planted evidence.