Hello Motherfuckers, it's Dirk!!!!
I haven't read Skatter's journal is quite some time and ran into it last night. So, I figured I might as well write an update. The last update was all the hell the way back in October of last year. Ouch.
So I'll try to start from where Skatter left off. Ouch.
As for the UK Subs show, we opened for them, and before anyone went on we got to eat lunch with Charlie Harper and the UK Sub's drummer. They were great just to bullshit with and talk about all the things they've done and gone through. This is the same band that had Lars Fredricksen of Rancid in the band, and supposedly he quit because he couldn't keep up. I was expecting to be pretty intimidated by them, but I was way fucking wrong. Charlie Harper is the nicest sweetest guy I've ever run into. He's the sort of person you'd wish to christ was your Grand Dad. After we had lunch with him we had to set up. In between of getting ready for the doors to open I'd go out front to look at the crowd and talk to some people. One guy was trying to sell me a ticket for the show at some ridiculous amount of money. I told him I played lead guitar in the opening band. He was pretty dumbfounded and started to follow me around. Time to head back in.
So we got everything ready and set up, and got ready for the "speech" from the owner about no underage drinking on the dance floor, blah, blah, blah. And so he said, "first up, G.S.F.U." Aaron counted off 4 and off we went into "The Rich Are Fucking You". We had great ole time and played really goddamned well. Chris, our drummer played amazingly well. We have a song called "Never Trust Whitey" that some people from the crowd helped us on.
After us was a band called Upper Cut, who sounded a little like Home Grown. They were great, and dedicated a song to us. That was pretty cool. After them was a really annoying ska band that wouldn't get the hell off the stage. They were an opening band and played for a freaking hour! Jumping fucking jesus. Then a band from California called The 8 Bucks Experience, whose claim to fame was that they were in the movie SLC Punk. The song in the movie was called "Hey Hey Hey Marijuana, Hey Hey Hey Americana". Yeah. The guitarist was great, but other than that....ugh. Then of course the UK Subs were fucking amazing.
One cool thing is that Ven, a friend of our singer, Nikki, took many photos of us at the show, and shot some video of it as well. Hopefully, if I ever get a hold of my friend Katie W-, she'll let me use her scanner, and you'll be able to see them.
Oh, one more note about the show, after The UK Subs got done, Charlie was ignoring his fans to talk to us. I couldn't believe it. I made sure not to try to take up any of his time, because I knew our singer Nick was making such a fuss over him. But Charlie tracked me down and made sure to say how impressed he was. He was telling me that we were great and that we had "the magic". He even invited us to stay at his flat in jolly ole England so we could tour there. I wish I was making this shit up. After it all Charlie gave us all a hug and said, "I won't forget this" and gave us his address and phone number.
Also, for all the pouty princesses out there who read this journal, you're free to check out our website at GFY!Records. I'm thinking that if anyone wants to check out the video of the show (us talking with the UK Subs and us playing three tunes) just go to the video link on the website. Make sure to send a VHS tape and postage.
Moving on.
As Skatter said in her last entry, Nick, our singer moved in to our apartment. Basically what happened was Nick started going bonkers. He's kind of bonkers as it is. He was handed a pretty shitty deal in life, with a crippled mother and a drug dealer for a father. Now I'm not talking about his dad sold pot for extra money. His dad made his living selling coke, heroin, crack, you name it. Nick's used heroin off and on since he was 16. Well, three days before the show, Nick went with me and our friend Katie A- (this is another Katie, one of about 100s) to Manassas to get his prescription filled. We went to the CVS, and then come the cops. Katie A- and Nick get arrested for prescription fraud, and I get stranded with no way to get home. So we barely got Nick out of jail in time for the show. Later on, it turns out they can't convict anyone because of lack of evidence. Figures. By the way, I hate pigs. We should change our National Anthem to the Body Count song "Cop Killer". Do yourselves a favor people. Contact Copwatch and learn just how fucked the pigs are.
Anyway, after that our apartment turned into a zoo. We had Nick, Katie A-, and Jade all living there, sleeping on the floor. Katie A- wanted to get into Nick's pants, and Nick hated Katie A-. Nick wanted to get into Jade's pants, but Jade hated Nick. It was pretty amusing. I think Aaron and Nick were taking stabs at who would get Jade. In the end, Nick won. In any case Aaron went bonkers one day and threw Katie A- out (more on this later!!!), and Jade got out soon after. Nick left later too, because he knew we couldn't handle him living there anymore. Not before he broke two coffee makers and ran up $1000 on our phone bill in collect calls from his mom and brother. One day his mom gave me a collect call to tell me that she wanted me to leave a message for Nick. The message was "fuck you". Imagine that shit. Calling someone collect just to tell them to go fuck themselves. Couldn't even bother to steal a calling card to do it. Fucking called me collect. Needless to say I don't like them.
Well, after that Chris left the band due to him getting a promotion, and he was getting moved around a hell of a lot. He's a Marine, and with all this Terrorist crap going on, it made shit impossible. Nick moved back into DC and moved in with a girl named Diana. We worked with this guy named Josh on drums, but he proved that he was impossible to work with, since he smoked too much pot. Then we came across Mike, who looks like Milo of the Descendents. He's easily the best drummer we've ever had with the exception of Joey "The Monkey". He's better than Joey, in that he has a better since of tempo. While this was happening I found out that Diana was actually a prostitute. A few weeks later I found out that Nick's brother was fucking her, and one day they were shooting up together. Nick woke up the next morning with his brother freaking. Diana was dead. Well one thing lead to another, and Nick moved into a homeless shelter. Now finally, Nick's in Pennsylvania, and hopefully he can leave his brother and his mom there with his grandparents. They've done nothing but fuck Nick's life up. Now hopefully he can get his shit together.
Now here the update on the lovely Aaron. He's been single since he broke up with Sonya. They broke up a short time after Sonya gave birth to their son, Xavier. Xavier is now 5 years old. Well, like I said we were living with Katie A-, Jade, and Nick at the time. Well I woke up one day to find Katie A- with a big grin on her face. Aaron had been wanting to get her out of the apartment. Well Aaron suddenly had a different opinion on the subject. Katie A- told me that she screwed Aaron the night before. Dear lord. I was shocked as all hell, but I guess I could see it coming. Aaron gave Katie A- some chocolate covered pretzels the night before that my mom gave Aaron. Katie A- then said, "oh, you're getting laid tonight!" Just think, my mom basically got Aaron laid. Aaron later told me Katie A- was the horrible in bed. Except he kept trying to convince her to fuck him again. Katie A- wasn't having any of it. So he kicked her out of the apartment.
Moving on.
Well, later in December last year Aaron met up with this one girl he met on a telephone dating line. We all met up at a Die Cheerleader Die show in Woodbridge. After it was over we all went back to the apartment. Aaron told Skatter to try to get her drunk so he could get some nookie out of her. Aaron, in his usual sleaze ball way, made sure to point out that "No one can out drink Skatter". So she tried and tried and tried. Needless to say, she lost. I've never met anyone on the planet who can out drink Skatter. Well she spent most of the night on the back patio with Skatter chain-smoking, while Brent and I were trying to watch a movie. This girl got so wasted that she fell through our patio door. It was 2:30 in the morning. After Aaron carried her back to the chair on the outside patio, she continued to chain smoke. By 3:00 in the morning for some reason she got the great idea to start screaming at the top of her lungs, "Fuck You! Fuck You! Fuck You!" She wasn't talking to anyone in particular. At this point Aaron took her into his room, and she threw up on him. He then took her into the shower to wash the puke off of himself and her, and then took her back into her room and fucked her. Aaron's a high class kind of guy.
Moving on.
For New Years Aaron met up with another girl he met on his lovely telephone dating line. For this journal I think we should name her Tub-A-Guts. Tub-A-Guts is basically white trash in fish net stockings. She has fat rolls on the back of her calves. She's 5'1 and weighs almost 300 pounds. Her arms can take out the entire Washington Redskins. Well Aaron met her at a diner on New Years. Saw how huge she is, and took her home and fucked her. Now we've been living with her since New Years, against our will. If anyone who reads this journal is a lawyer and knows how to remove an unwanted squatter from an apartment please e-mail Skatter. She even brought in her damn ugly ass dog, even when we said, No over and over again. Now my cat is a nervous wreck, and never leaves my room. But this is a much longer story, and this entry is long as hell as it is. I think I'll leave Skatter to fill in the gaps with Tub-A-Guts.
So anyway, hope you guys enjoyed my journal entry. I'll see if I can do this more often. I think it might be more entertaining when I don't have to fill in 7 months of goings ons.
Take Care people.
Dirk.
