My Left Brain

By now, The Spring Semester for College students has
Just begun. And many questions arise: "What will my instructor
be like?", "Will there be loads of homework?" or "How can get
into my classmate's pants?"
In order to fill those gaps, I present you with a new list...

Ways to tell if you're in for a tough semester.

• Your books cost more than your car.
• Along with your schedule, you get a pamphlet titled,
  "So, you're going to get hit with Hepetitis C".
• The only class you have that's graded on a curve has
  one of those freakish,"Graduated-High School-at-age-fifteen-with
  -honors" kids.
• You have so many books to carry, you get a girlfriend just
  for the help.
• Your professor mutters repeatedly to himself,"I'm Albus Dumblerdore..."
• Your human sexuality class is taught by a nun.
• Even worse: your human sexuality instructor is really hot.
• The Marine recruiters on campus carry around a photo of you.
• Even Worse: The Christian Club on campus carries a photo of you.
• Your campus health center is made up of one table with a
  band-aid, a box of Lifestyles, and a security guard named Paco.
• Your financial aid package involves on empty can, and
  a cardboard sign that reads: "I HAVE NO LEGS".

-The PickleBandit