The whole problem probably started before you were married. A lot of the time people decide to marry someone for all the wrong reasons. If you did not know Jesus personally at the time, you did not marry in His wisdom or with unconditional love.
Some of the reasons you might have married:
what you
thought was love
friendship
companionship
to get away
from your parents
to solely own your spouse
lust
convenience
maybe just to
start a family of your own
As we said earlier. Man did not create marriage. God did, so He and His word is the foundation the marriage needs to be founded on. Anything else will either fail or be miserable. You will never come to know the blessings of a good godly marriage.
One of the most common mistakes we make when we marry is to set right about changing our spouse to our idea of the perfect husband or wife. It doesn't work, and never will. The only time a person changes is when they are ready and willing to do so from their heart. When one falls in love one must accept the person just as they are, just as God does us. Most of the time habits get worst with age, and are harder to tolerate when living with a person. If you could not accept them for who they were, you were not in love with them in the first place. When looking for a spouse, you need to find the person you adore and you can love unconditionally. As a couple you will go through many trials in life as it is, if you start on a bad foot it can only make it harder. We are not God, and when we marry we are to be a companion to our spouse, not a ruler or parent.
Another common mistake is to look for someone to replace your parents. When you marry you should be independent enough to take care of yourself. It gets tiring trying to parent an adult, and it gets real old having someone tell you what do and how to act all the time. Women were created to be a help meet. A companion that would share all aspects of life with their husbands..
Note: (All words in parenthesis are my own or definitions. I have underlined words and phrases I want to emphasize.) Important key words are highlighted.
Genesis 2:18-24
And out of the ground the LORD God formed every beast of the field, and every fowl of the air; and brought them unto Adam to see what he would call them ... but for Adam there was not found an help meet for him
Notice woman was taken from the side of
man, not the head or the foot. She was also taken from the rib. The bone that protects vital organs.
And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge; and though I have all faith, so that I could remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing.
And though I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and though I give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profiteth me nothing.
Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
Rejoiceth not in iniquity, but rejoiceth in the truth;
Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
Charity never faileth: but whether there be prophecies, they shall fail; whether there be tongues, they shall cease; whether there be knowledge, it shall vanish away.
For we know in part, and we prophesy in part.
But when that which is perfect is come, then that which is in part shall be done away.
When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, I thought as a child: but when I became a man, I put away childish things.
For now we see through a glass, darkly; but then face to face: now I know in part; but then shall I know even as also I am known.
And now abideth faith, hope, charity, these three; but the greatest of these is charity.
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