One would think you'd be safe in your own bed, but no.
Not all too long ago, I was rudely awoken in the middle of the night as I felt a sharp pain in my anus. To my surprise, I saw a hairy fat guy in a pink fairy outfit complete with magical wand...and that wand was stuck straight up my jack hole. As you can imagine, I was quite disturbed (and still am but in a whole new sense). Anyhow, I squirmed away from this child molesting freak only to discover that the once sparkled wand was dull as a rock...due to the fact that the sparkles were lodged up my ass. Thankfully, the after effects of the chillie dogs I ate helped clear the passage. With a giant burst, "star dust" flew out of my backside, blinding the hairy fucker. Taking advantage of this situation, I punked this false Tooth Fairy in the side of the head with his...or her...own wand. I think the sharp edge drew blood from the fat ass, but I'm not sure...my ass was in too much pain for me to focus.
Anyhoo...the oversized Tooth Fairy soon regained an upright position and began to chase me through my house. Luckily, I was much quicker than that 400 lbs sonuvabitch and was able to run into the kitchen quite quickly. Positioning myself on the opposite end of the dinner table from the massive tob-o-lard inna dress...I ran. A game of ring around the table soon broke out until he lost his breath...that's right....after two whole steps. Once again taking advantage of this, I opened the fridged and took out a 6 foot sub and threw it to the pudgy fucker. This, however, didn't have the effect I had hoped. Rather than devouring it, he slowly inserted it up his ass. And with a strange glow in his eye, he once again began to chase me. I made a mad dash towards the kitchen cabinets in hopes of finding a nice sized stake knife. However...I forgot the little fucker had wings. Within a split second, he was airborn....flying as fast as he could. So while I waited for that stupid shit to get about two feet, I made myself a lil snack. Hey, it was 5 in the morning for Christ's sakes.
Realizing he had no chance, he dropped to the ground and began to roll towards me. Instantly, I was covered by one of his many fat rolls. All went black as I once again felt the violation of my most sacred hole. The pain....my god...the horror.
I don't remember much after that happened. The very fact that one of his man tits covered my face kept me from seeing much. I guess that's what happened when you put dead people's disembodied heads under your pillow rather than teeth. Ah well...