INDUCTION NIGHT 
by: Buloy 
    Noong Sept. 20, 1996 7:30 p.m. ang mga opisyal ng MSU-CAT-1 ay nagdaus ng kanilang induction night sa roof top ng Sydney Hotel. Maraming kahinahinala ang nangyari.  
   Una, walang kwenta ang ulam, ang manok ay makunat at walang ketchup. Ang kanin ay hilaw at sunog in short “batok” at ang tubig ay lasang sabon. 
    Pangalawa, pumunta naman tayo sa sponsors and escorts. Sinasabing may love polygon ang nangyari. Umpisahan natin kay Cdt. Capt. Edwin Pagaling, hindi sumipot ang kanyang sponsor kaya kinuha niya si Dalea Leaño ang M.C. ng gabi, si Dalea naman ay may gusto kay Cdt. Capt. Geryll Lumangtad na inisponsoran naman ni Ciara Magpantay. Si Ciara ay may gusto kay Cdt. Maj. Lyndon Cordero, si Lydon naman ay gustong kunin si Donna Salangsang  na Sponsor ni Cdt. Lt. Col. Alan Posadas pero ang gusto ni Alan ay si Fe Robilla Daproza na sponsor naman ni Cdt. 1st Lt. Jerwin Rojo na ang type ay si Cdtte. Maj. Mary Joy Bolos. Ang escort ni Mary Joy ay si Wendell Uy.  
 Ang kahulihulihan ay ang countdown ballroom at ang walang kakwentakwentang disco sounds. Ngunit sa kabila ng lahat masaya pa rin. 
 
 

LOVE LIGHTS THE DAST 
by: Bakal  
    Reuter. Ikaapat na taon ng pangkat ng magtatapos sa taong 1996-97, mga opisyales ng nasabing taon. Maraming milagro umano… 
 Una, Cdt. Capt. Pagaling may nililigawan. Sumunod si Cdt. Maj. Dequito,  Cdt. 1st Lt. Rojo at Cdtte. Maj. Mary Joy Bolos. 
    At ngayon ang paglabas ng pinakamalaking pangyayari. Cdt. Col. Jillbouy Dahilan at Cdtte. Maj. Mary Joy Sagayno. Aba e kulang nalang ay maging simbahan o hotel ang DAST. 
    O ano ba naman ang naririnig namin? Cdt. Tenyete Rodel Arancon (corni, ngee!!) nanununtok at naninira ng kagamitan sa DAST. Ano ba yan Rodel? nandyan naman si Band Private Marilyn Toquero.  
    Ayon pa nga sa ilang mga chika-chika, ang duty pa nga raw ng S7 o CMO Officer ay “ To love and care for the Corp Commander”. 
 
 

MGA KANATANG MAY DOUBLE MEANING 
by: Bakal 
    Reuter, balitang k – may mga kantang lumalabas o pinapatugtog sa mga bomboradyo ang mga ito. Mga kantang bastos at walang galang. Katulad nalang ng kantang ito: ‘kani-kanina lang, kani-kanina lang…” ipinapahiwatig lang ng kantang ito na bastos sya! Bakit? Dahil nagbibigay sya ng ideya kung anong nangyari kani-kanina lang. Isa pang walang hiyang kanta ay ito: “a ring king king king a ring king king…” sa kantang ito wala kang naiintindihang salita, sa dimo pakakaalam ay minumura kana. At ang pinakabastos sa lahat ay ito: “I have two e_g_ the left and the right. The center is long buhok gipakulot push & pull to produce people so this e_g_ are very usefull. Wala kanang masasabing mabuti kundi puro masama sa kantang ito. kayo? Anong anong masasabi nyo? --- wala na akong masasabi pa sa 7-up, obey your thirst. 
 
 

FEATURE ON 1ST LT. RODEL ARANCON (MAIS) 
by: Bakal 
Sa bawat taon ng pagiging opisyal, may mga tradisyon na nakakasanayan. Ang pag fea-feature ng Corp Commander este ng opisyal na DATIG. For more clarification on the word DATIG: DATIG is derived from the latin words “DA” and “TIG”. DA means home and “TIG” means boy. In short homeboy. As what we all know what really a home boy is, a homeboy is the ones working on households chores. His full name is 1st LT. Rodel Arancon a.k.a. Corny Corn Mais, a speacial officer who is choosen among others as the best, was designated as the DATIG officer. Inspite that he is the DATIG officer, he is also an expert in his own field in kawatanizing. A field in military which deals with cornapping, scothtapenapping, everythingnapping. He is known expert as datig hugas, datig laba, datig walis, datig damo, datig limpyo, datig bunot, datig gawa ng lahat. In short boy or a male maid. 
 
 

 

PINOY PAYPHONE 
by: Bakal 
    Nowadays, people have communication even if they are far apart. The invention of Telephone by Alexander Grahambell which is then followed by the invention of payphone, cellphone, garaphone, etc. has brought about the progress of mankind. 
 As what can see on foreign countries, they set paypones on the streets for emergency cases. For example in the U.S.A.. But what is said here in the Philippines? Payphone on pockets! Is that quite heavy? 
    “No. Payphone can be portable nowadays with my invention.” Says the specialist Sylvester Salvador a.k.a. Raphael Lumeran. “This is what we call Cell payphone. It has a buglar alarm with signal lights in one. Now Pinoy can be beaten? 
 
 

WARHEADS 
by: Bakal 
    Nuclear bombs are the main powers for a defending team won the war. But the spread of knowledge in making nukes were vastly spread. From United States to Russia to France to Italy. Nowadays almost all country keep their nuclear for defense of their country. In USA, three warheads designated to all parts of the world in a single button. France have just tested their nuclear might. But do you think Philippines can afford to have these nukes? Yes! Philippines has a natural made nuclear warhead. Maj. Domingo Non Jr.  
 
 

APEC ON OR RATHER OF THE D.A.S.T. 
(Armory personel and equipment collector) 
by: Bakal 
    The most important room or part of the D.A.S.T. is the unmaintained, unclean armory. APEC is here to take in charge of this room. He has brought about the implemention of one of the law of the Code of Hammurabi: “Thou shalt not take any riffle, scrub and broom in the armory without the knowledge (and wisdom) of the chief (armory). 
 “Death shall cometh on swift wings to anyone who toucheth anything in my armory.” Says chief armory 1LT. Ernesto Vegafria, the APEC, Committee chief. Progress and the rising economy of this armory. According to the committee they are to add new broken riffles, guns and ammos, scrubs, floor wax and brooms. 
 
 

SPORTS 
by: Bakal 
    Capt. Geryll Lumangtad was beaten by his opponent. He was kicked in the ass and kicked out of school. He brought home the black eye. He claims he was cheated. “A silver medal was stolen.” Says CIA RA agent. He was beaten by merely three points by the score 3-0.  
 “I demand for a rematch  at the oval plaza.” Says Geryll. Why would Mr. Lumangtad set his rematch at the oival plaza? So if he losses again his rival will get mosquitoed.