The Net's One and Only

This is an easy puzzle.
In fact, it's not much of a puzzle at all.  The only thing you have to do is click on the link, and you will be taken to the next part.  But there are a few rules I need to impose.

• Number 1: You must be under 2000 years of age to enjoy the TURTLE QUIZ.
• Number 2: Current residents of the Moon need not apply.
• Number 3: DO NOT LOOK AT THE ANSWERS.  I cannot stress enough the unimportance of this rule, mostly because there are no answers.
• Number 4: No matter what, DO NOT CHEAT.  This is the most important rule.  Because if you cheat, you can consider yourself permanently alienated from the TURTLE QUIZ and both its sponsors.
• Number 5: BE COMPLETELY HONEST WITH YOURSELF.  There is no punishment if you are not, but I must say that some of the joy upon reaching the end will be lost.
• Number 5: Those who finish will be rewarded.  Those who do not . . .  I will not go into details.

You asked for it . . . .

Did you know that saving sea turtles can lower your blood pressure, pay all your bills, boot up your computer in 2 seconds, and help your favorite sports team have a perfect record?
A.Yes
B.No
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

What is the scientific name for a turtle that likes to lie around on the couch all day and watch Discovery Channel specials on why it is good to be a reptile?
A. Couchii potatum
B. Turtlus lazo
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

How much cake could a turtle eat if a turtle could eat cake?
A. No idea whatsoever.
B. No clue whatsoever.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Why did the turtle cross the road?
A. Because the chicken retired and moved to Alaska.
B. It beats crossing a superhighway!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

What is a turtle's favorite response on seeing a human eat a turtle sundae?
A. Oh, my God they've killed _________(turtle's name here)
B. When gone is that, the last of the Turtles will I be.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Upon parting, turtles are more likely to say....
A. May the force of gravity be with you.
B. May the force of inertia be with you.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Are you familiar with something known as the 'Turtle Sundae'?
A. Yes
B. No
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

What do you do when you see a sea turtle in an aquarium?
A. Break down and scream "I want you I want you I want you!"
B. Break down and scream "I need you I need you I need you!"
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

What is a green turtle's favorite color?
A. Green
B. #00FF00 (HTML joke)
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

If given a choice between working with turtles and working with dolphins, you would choose:
A. Working with loggerheads.
B. Working with flatbacks.
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Which of the following is a favorite saying among shrimpers?
A. Hot diggety dog--no tickets today for not using a TED!
B. DARN IT!!!  So far I haven't caught any hawksbills because of that darn TED, so I can't sell them for money, and my wife won't get that authentic tortoise-shell chopsticks-and-hair-comb-set she wants so badly!