MURDER OF BANI QURAYZA; CONSPIRACY TO MURDER BANI QURAYZA AND OTHER DISSIDENTS; SEX WITH A MINOR; POLYGAMY; KIDNAPPING AND FORCED SERVITUDE.
MUHAMMAD IBN 'ABDULLAH
| Date of Photograph: 1400 years + |
| Aliases: Ahmad, The Prophet, The Apostle, The Messenger, Abul-Qassem, Al-Mustafa, Amin, TaHa, YaSin, The Last, The Effacer (of kufr), the Gatherer |
DESCRIPTION
| Date of Birth: | 570 Thereabouts! Da' best of times. | Hair: | Best of Hair Color |
| Place of Birth: | Arabia, da' best of places. | Eyes: | Best of Eye Color |
| Height: | Best of Statures | Complexion: | Best of Complexions |
| Weight: | Best of Weights | Sex: | Male, da' Best |
| Build: | Best of Builds | Tribe: | Quraysh-da' Best |
| Occupations: | Businessman, Prophet, Warrior, Statesman, Cloth Mender, Humble Servant of Allah, da' best | ||
| Remarks: | If he attempts to flee, he may do so by means of a flying horse by the name of Buraq. The Arabian Bureau of Investigation recommends you have a Pink Unicorn on hand to make chase. | ||
| Scars, Marks: | Seal of Prophecy- noted by the monk Bahira. Scar from an Angel's open heart surgery while a youth. | ||
CAUTION
MUHAMMAD IBN 'ABDULLAH IS WANTED IN CONNECTION WITH THE 628 C.E., SLAYING OF THE MALE MEMBERS OF BANI QURAYZA. THESE ATTACKS KILLED OVER 500 PEOPLE. HE IS SAID BY HIS OWN GROUP'S ADMISSION TO HAVE ORDERED THE REVENGE KILLINGS OF A NUMBER OF OTHERS- INCLUDING WOMEN AND THOSE WHO INSULTED HIM WHEN THEY WERE CHILDREN.
CONSIDERED ARMED AND EXTREMELY DANGEROUS TO KUFAR-SUBHUMAN EVIL-DOERS
IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATION CONCERNING THIS PERSON, DON'T MENTION IT OUT LOUD. IT WILL INTERFERE IN THE DEIFICATION PROCESS THAT LEAVES QUESTIONING MUHAMMAD'S MORAL CHAMPION STATUS OUT OF BOUNDS.
REWARD
Malik-ul-'Aql is offering a reward of up to 1,000 dinars for anyone able to apprehend the reason why so many think Muhammad is the exemplar of all of humanity for all times.
February 2000