after my A levels examinations, creating a personal website was so hip and cool then, i hopped onto the bandwagon. and forgot to get off. despite being utterly uncreative. utterly unpoetic. utterly lazy.

but i stuck to this hobby. because i'm an exhibitionist, i guess. i was sure everyone would love to know about me. it turned out eventually that this website brought out more of me than i thought even existed.

when it all started, i was 18, barely out of junior college, both stupid and smart, as all 18 year olds are. i had graduated from the local system and was determined to leave home to see the world. it was the time when i wasn't quite adult, yet.

i am 21 this year. i will legally be an adult on 2nd August this year [2001]. yet, i feel like less of an adult than when i was 18. it seems harder, no longer shielded by the same arrogance and innocence. funny, isn't it? the older i grow, the more difficult each step is. i used to think adults had it easier.

on the brink of freedom. in 1998, this webpage saw the start of the beginning to my growth as an independent woman. in 2001, i have progressed, but i'm not quite there yet. i find it significant that this website of mine has grown with me through the years and will probably continue marking the milestones in my future.

a few years later, at another milestone of my life, such as when i graduate from college, my feelings would have changed. i might already be "free". but i doubt it. i think i'm destined to forever just be on the brink of freedom. forever nearly but not quite there.