The Story of the USP

The United States of Pat, officially established on July 6, 1998 as a bicameral government during SSI's Language Arts Class, is a version of the United States of America, infested with Pat "Slick Pyan" Eimerman and his bogus ideas. Along with him as the "founding fathers" of the nation are Jesse "Newty_G" Dumke as The House, and Bryan "DJ Brat" McGill as head of SSC and Secretary of the Interior. (DJ Brat was originally the senate, but effective one hour into the nation's history, the senate was disbanded, creating a unicameral government and giving DJ Brat his current "Head of SSC" title.) The nation's logo (annoyingly displayed in the background) depicts the president with his bestest buddy, Evil Bert (a few of his favorite pics are here).

After disbanding the senate and ruling on a pesky praire dog topic, the nation created the following posts: Sturgeon General, Postmaster General, Colonel Sanders, Head of HUD, Secretary of Transportation, Head of DRD, and Anthem Singer(see below). Also, Shawn the Girl was given honorary status as the only member of the populous.

Next on the agenda was the reallignment of the states. Needing a place to send the Postmaster General, and wanting to act on a personal gripe against Wyoming, the House suggested adjoining Wyoming to Montana, creating "Montoming." Also, the border between North and South Dakota was eliminated, creating "Dakota." To keep the number of states at 50, Puerto Rico was annexed, and the upper peninsula of Michigan was given sovereignty and renamed, "Wisconsin #2." (This was done as a measure of goodwill for Wisconsin; by making Smellytown the national capital, the government felt that it owed Wisconsin bigtime!)

On July 9, 1998, the government combined the former states of Maine, Vermont, and New Hampshire into one, "New Vermaine." Two Wisconsin counties, Shawano and Fond Du Lac, became states, again balancing at 50. Also, Shawn the Girl was appointed as governor of New Vermaine, and the Sturgeon General's duties expanded to include being mayor of the nation's capital.

The actions of the new nation will be displayed as they occur. In the meantime, read up about the new politicians and how they can serve you...also, take the citizenship test to see if you have what it takes to become a citizen of the most exclusive country in the world!

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