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There's one question I've never been able to answer: What do women do in the bathroom that takes so long? I go in, shave, brush my teeth, use the facilities, and I'm done in five to seven minutes, tops. The same goes for wardrobes. A man walks into his wardrobe, sees a shirt he likes, and smells the pit. Hey, it's okay and we're out of there. A woman must spin a cocoon.
I suppose one clue to this mystery is a woman's purse. For all her talk of cleanliness, there is nothing a guy has - garage, junk room, tool box, lint collection - that is more disorganised than a woman's purse. A purse is a rubbish bin with a shoulder strap. They put garbage in it. They put tissues in there. They put in pre-chewed chewing gum. They put pens that don't work back into the purse. If my wife dropped her keys in her purse, finding them would make the search for the Holy Grail look like an Easter egg hunt. Not a guy in the world has a wallet as disorganised as a woman's purse. Men don't have purses because we'd always lose them, even if they were the size of cars.
 As we know, men like things that women don't, like stuffed animals on the walls. You never see moose heads in beauty parlours. A sport, to women, is shopping. It really gets them worked up. Prove it to yourself. Go find a shopping centre under construction and see if at lunchtime there aren't women shouting at the builders to stop eating and get back to work. Men hate to shop. I guarantee it. Just stop any man you can find and ask, "Would you rather spend the whole day shopping for clothes or having exploratory rectal surgery?" Most men would answer quickly: "Now if I had the surgery, how long would I be out of work?"
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Created by Marc Willems
