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I don't know what women want. We marry them, but that doesn't seem to be enough. I think they'd rather have
great-looking shoes that are comfortable. Eyeliner that doesn't run. And jewellery. I hear you can never go wrong with jewellery.
My wife doesn't deny it, but I get the feeling that even if she had all that it still wouldn't be sufficient.
 One satisfying aspect of marriage is attending your friends' weddings and trying not to fall on the floor laughing because they have no idea what married life will be like. Just because they'd lived together since they were brother and sister doesn't mean a thing. Even so, weddings typically offer the best entertainment value for your community property dollar. I remember when my friend Andrew got married. I was one of six groomsmen. We decided right before we arrived at the church that we were going to convince Andrew that he had a cliff-hanger; in other words, something in his nose. Andy came out and stood near the altar. As each of us walked down the aisle to join him, we'd point discreetly to our noses. Andy spent his entire wedding picking at his nose. He would look over at us like, "Did I get it?" We'd look back and silently mouth, "Nah, you didn't get it." The whole thing is on video. I can get you a copy.
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