Meat the SLASSHERS... (the greatest fartknocking team ever created)      

Name: Maue Huelar   They call him: Maue, The Flying Fish   I call him: The Toilet Seat   Position: Point guard, toilet seat, overall asswipe  Stats: 39-32-35

This guy is the prettiest ass i've ever seen. His face looks like an experiment gone wrong. Trashtalker? I get it. He must have a mean case of garbage-flavored halitosis. Last year, he was the league leader in steals. That's cos prior to joining the league, he was THE notorious ace snatcher in his town. Figures.
  

Name: Johnedel Cardel  They call him: Cardel, The Wild Thing  I call him: Mr. Wrong  Position: Shooting guard, ass  Stats: 36-26-36

  He's Mr. Wrong to me cos i think he's playing for the wrong team. He's not an asswipe, but since he's on the team, i now consider him as an honorary asswipe. Trabaho lang, walang personalan. He should hone his talents in teams like Batangas, Manila or Pasig.
 

Name: Erwin Framo  They call him: Framo  I call him: Damo  Position: Small Forward, shit/tae  Stats: 56-59-57

The reason why he's a great fastbreak finisher is because his balls are so heavy, he can barely run back on defense. He's always left in their side of the court, that's why he's always there to catch the pitches. And he must be taking damo or steroids so he can still move around.
  

Name: John Ferriols  They call him: Ferriols  I call him: Traitor  Position: Power forward, asshole  Stats: 37-27-26

  Fucking tratior. Instead of making his hometown Davao proud by playing for them, he chose to stick it out with the suckiest team in the league. I say, hang the traitors! Kill ! Kill ! Kill !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 

Name: Jack Tanuan  They call him: Papa Jack, Lumberjack  I call him: Jack-o-Lantern, Jackol  Position: Center, Captain ball, asshole  Stats: 38-38-38

His name oughta be Grandpa, not Papa Jack. This guy is so old, my lolo would look like his younger brother. Perhaps his sexual life is not that active, that's why he still can play even at his age. Hmmm, i may give him all the sluts he can handle on his next birthday.
  

Name: Leo Bat-og  They call him: Bat-og, Mr. No Fear  I call him: Flintstone  Position: Power forward, cheerleader, toilet  Stats: 35-35-36

  Judging from his family name, he must've been from the Stone Age, the Jurassic era even. That explains the white portion on his hair. I guess he's 65,000,000 years old now. When he drives to the basket, i find his moves very awkward. Tsamba na lang talaga na pumapasok yung mga tira!!!!
 

Name: Reynel Hugnatan  They call him: Whatever  I call him: Whatever  Position: Power forward, hairstyler, ass lips  Stats: 50-45-56

He must be drinking a bottle of vinegar before each game cos his face looks very sour during the game. I'll bet he even smell like vinegar in person. He thinks his dunks are the intimidating factor for his opponents, when in reality it's his foul smell. Ever heard of Rexona, boy?
  

Name: John Lim  They call him: The Blur  I call him:   Position: Point guard, manicurista, toilet paper  Stats: 25-15-26

  If Framo has heavy balls, this guy has none. That's why he runs so fast. Or maybe somebody left an army of ants in his pants, and started gnawing at his little wiener while warming up. Whatever the reason is, he's very funny, very funny looking indeed!
 
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