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Today's Cool
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This page is Just For Fun!!
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This is a Cruelty free zone!
No animals were tested in the creation of this web site, but only
because they can't read. Sure, some dogs watch TV, but only when Drew
Carey is on. They know one of their own when they see him.
Why Johnny Shouldn’t Go to College - It’s now being revealed that education
is bad for your health. This came to light in a study published in the February
issue of American Demographics magazine
(motto: "They cut down trees for this?)
which claims that the more education you have the less sex you have.
Who would have thought you’d trade one sheepskin for another?
David Letterman's Top 10 Signs you've gone to a Bad Veterinarian:
10) When you hand him your cat, he asks uncomfortably, "monkey"?
9) Two weeks later, your dog coughs up a rubber glove.
8) Big sign in waiting room say "NO PETS ALLOWED"
7) Diploma looks a lot like menu from roadside restaurant
6) Always saying "I've got an itch in my pants"
5) Sends you a card every Spring saying
"It's time for your Dog's Annual Neutering:
4) His First Question is, "What ails your Varmint?"
3) He has lots of posters up advertising Cockfights
2) He himself wears one of the big funnel shaped dog collars, and
1) He Bites !
MIND GAMES YOUR DOGS PLAY WITH HUMANS...
1.After your humans give you a bath, DON'T LET THEM TOWEL DRY YOU!
Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself off on the sheets. This is
especially good if it's right before your humans bedtime.
2.Act like a convicted criminal. When the humans come home, put your ears
back, tail between your legs, chin down and act as if you have done
something really bad. Then, watch as the humans frantically search the
house for the damage they think you have caused. (Note: This only works
when you have done absolutely nothing wrong.)
3.Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the
humans try to demonstrate it to someone else, stare blankly back at the
humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.
4.Make your humans be patient. When you go outside to go 'pee', sniff around
the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose to go pee
will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
5.Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest,
most visible spot to go 'poo.' Take your time and make sure everyone
watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring
a plastic bag.
6.When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a
strange human walks by.
7.Make your own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch
with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.
8.Hide from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at
the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something terrible
has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your humans is
panic-stricken and close to tears).
9.When your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as
slowly as possible back to the door.
10.Wake up twenty minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make
the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get back
inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside,
this will drive them nuts!)
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Blame it on El Niño
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Hurricanes in the Pacific? Blame it on
El Niño. Volcanic eruptions in Montserrat?
El Niño. Janet Reno breaking down and
starting an investigation into campaign
financing? El Niño again!
You might as well brace yourself—
everything that happens during the next
ten months will be blamed on El Niño.
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LAMENT OF A LADY...GONE TO THE DOGS
There was a time - there really was - when I was young and tender.
When "show dog" meant a Disney star and "bitch" was not a gender.
I went to tea at half past ten, I went to church on Sunday.
On Saturday I baked the beans and did the wash on Monday.
But then I got a certain pup, an erstwhile friend said "Show"
and so I did, and so I do. Oh, what I didn't know!
Once I dressed with flair and style, that was the life, don't knock it!
Now a dress from bed to ball, must have a good bait pocket!
I used to have a certain air, I wallowed in perfume.
I used to smell like Nuit d'Amour, now I smell like Mr. Groom.
My furniture was haute decor, my pets; a tank of guppies.
Now I've furniture unstuffed, and well adjusted puppies.
I used to long for furs and jewels, and a figure classed as "super."
But now, the thing I yearn for most is a nice new pooper scooper.
I was taught to be well groomed, no matter where I went
Now all the grooming that I do is in the handler's tent.
While once I spoke in pristine prose, in dulcet tones and frail
I now am using language that would turn a sailor pale.
I adored a man who murmured verse, through intimate little dinners
But now the words I thrill to hear are just three: "Best of Winners!"
I rise at dawn and pack the car, the road ahead's a long one.
The one I've routed on the map is invariably the wrong one!
I really love my doggy life, I wouldn't care to change it.
But when I get the Best In Show, I could maybe rearrange it.
And when my days on Earth are done, I'll go without much nudging.
Just give me three weeks closing date and let me know who's judging!
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The Sleeping Sealyham
Wake him for meals
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The End
Photographs - Part I
Photographs - Part II
A Message from the Breeder
Who are the people at "Fanfare" ?
Today's Cool
Adoption Page
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