Comprehending Engineers-Take One:

                Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said,
                "Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
                "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my own business when a
                beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground,
                took off all her clothes and said, "Take what you want." "The second
                engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't
                have fit."

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            Comprehending Engineers-Take Two:

                An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was
                better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he
                enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an
                enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his
                mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The
                engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a
                wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with
                the other woman, and you can go to the office and get some work done."

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           Comprehending Engineers-Take Three:

                What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?

                Mechanical Engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets.
 

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              Comprehending Engineers-Take Four:

                The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
                The graduate  with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"
                The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
                The graduate with an Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

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           Comprehending Engineers-Take Five:

                To the optimist, the glass is half full.
                To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
                To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

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           Comprehending Engineers-Take Six:

                Three lawyers and three engineers are traveling by train to a
                conference. At the station, the three lawyers each buy tickets and watch
                as the three engineers buy only a single ticket. "How are three people
                going to travel on only one ticket?" asked one of the three lawyers.
                "Watch and you'll see,"
                answers one of the engineers.

                They all board the train. The lawyers take their respective seats but
                all three engineers cram into a restroom and close the door behind them.
                Shortly after the train has departed, the  conductor comes around
                collecting tickets. He knocks on the restroom door and says, "Ticket,
                please." The door opens just a crack and a single arm emerges with a
                ticket in hand. The conductor takes it and moves on.

                The lawyers saw this and agreed it was quite a clever idea. So after the
                conference, the lawyers decide to copy the engineers on  the return trip
                and save some money. When they get to the station, they buy a single
                ticket for the return trip. To their astonishment, the engineers don't
                buy a ticket at
                all.

                "How are you going to travel without a ticket," asks one perplexed
                lawyer. "Watch and you'll see," says one of the engineers. When they
                board the train the three lawyers cram into a restroom and the three
                engineers cram into another one nearby. The train departs. Shortly
                afterward, one of the
                engineers leaves his restroom and walks over to the restroom where the
                lawyers are hiding. He knocks on the door and says, "Ticket, please."

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           Comprehending Engineers-Take Seven:

                A group of Q.A. inspectors were given the assignment to measure the
                height of a flagpole. So they go out to the flagpole with ladders and
                tape measures, and they're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape
                measures the whole thing is just a mess. An engineer comes along and
                sees what they're trying to do, walks over, pulls the flagpole out of
                the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end to end, gives the
                measurement to one of the inspectors and walks away. After the engineer
                has gone, one inspector turns to another and laughs. "Isn't that just
                like an engineer. We're looking for the height and he gives us the
                length."