Broken computer

㥮s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s_s

My stories are a bit slow in the coming. There is a reason. My typing isn't quite as fast as it should be. Let me explain.

To visit my relatives in Jerusalem, I normally brought laundry, fresh clothes, and my computer. Call it the need to get on-line there, the need to work on this journal, fear of it being stolen in the university, call it being addicted, but I had to shlug the laptop with me. As I was getting off of the bus in the central bus station in Be'er Sheva, trying to get off the bus, with my huge backpack full of clothes, and my computer bag on my arm, the bus driver decided that it would be a good time to accelerate.

So, rolling on the concrete, and having all the pedestrians around me laughing, I got up, and brushed myself. When I got back to the dorm room, I noticed the cracks in the casing of the computer. When I began typing, I noticed the hardware problem. Well, not all of the hardware. It was just the keyboard. Typing, some of the keys would produce extra letters, and some would seemingly not work.

Here, check out some jokes.

ame. known as the. =le.sse.r of two we.e.vi=ls.one., natura=l=ly, be.c
ondh. The. se.c to muc
ne.ve.r amounte.d
s and
otton fie.=ldin the. c
be.hind
tor. The. othe.r staye.d ame. a famous acbe.c and~~~~~
aro=lina. One. we.nt to Ho=l=lywoodTwo bo=l=l we.e.vi=ls gre.w up in South C
bye..e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.e.
He.re. =lie.s he.r good o I.my wife.,
I bi now so dd She. re.sts in pe.ace.
and \\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
an be. of any he.=lp . . . you're. in worse. shape. than I thought.If I c two we.e.ks ago.膊膊膊膊膊膊膊膊膊膊膊膊
A se.minar on Time. Trave.=l wi=l=l be. he.=ld
an you give. me. a =li's your oyste.r, go for it.'"ft?" this b=loke. says to me. "C?
ar, an "Sure.厃ou =look gre.at, the. wor=ldd "So I was ge.tting into my c
I said ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
A ro=l=ling stone. gathe.rs mome.ntum. in =line. for an hour just to sit on my =lap? the.y standate.s.cccccccccccccc
=laus. Why e.=lse. wou=ld+Lotte.ry numbe.rs are. =like. d unti=l the. ne.xt m the. truth about Santa C
orning.
The.y =look re.a=l good re.n *want* to be. to=ld e. you e., =litt=le. chi=ld for it!?????????? ivorc?
Wome.n! First the.y marry you for own insidyour mone.y... the.n the.y d e.e.p d? ? ? ? .? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
aspe.r the. Frie.nd=ly Ghost be.fore. he. die.dI think, d go as C
e.r at a Ha=l=lowe.e.n masque.rade. party, I'd
To make. pe.op=le. wond
ddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddddd
Commercial break:

ESPN
Magazine DescriptionESPN targets young, active men whose lifestyles include watching sports, attending games, and participating in all kinds of athletics. The editorial focus plays off the news and includes what will happen in sports and which match-ups and young players to watch. In addition, the magazine emphasizes the humor and fun of both mainstream and off-beat sports.

OK, we now return...

Here's the key if you want the real jokes.

1) Esc -- doesn't work at all
2) Nor does F2.
3) F3 gives you first F3, then an automatic "o".
4) Nor does the tab.
5) The "1" key (over the "Q") is equivalent to pushing PageDown. The only way to write a 1 is to turn on the Numeric Keyboard which turns the "J" into a "1." 6) The = or plus sign when pressed for = gives you "=l," and plus gives you "+L."
7) Home moves you to the front of the line...but puts a "c" wherever you pressed home.
8) The letter "E" for lower case is "e." and "E>" for caps.
9) D, in addition to the letter moves you up a line.
10) The letter l gives you +L and =l.
11) Typing the letter C gives you the extra bonus of bringing you to the beginning of the line.
12) The period gives you "e." or "E>"
13) The letter O gives you an F3 before the o.
14) Up gives you a "d" every time you use it.
15) End gives you nothing.
16) Tab gives you a PageDown

Well, that won't help. Here are the real jokes.

~~~~~
Two boll weevils grew up in South Carolina. One went to Hollywood and became a famous actor. The other stayed behind in the cotton fields and never amounted to much. The second one, naturally, became known as the lesser of two weevils.
eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
Here lies my wife,
I bid her goodbye.
She rests in peace
and now so do I.
\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\\
If I can be of any help . . . you're in worse shape than I thought.
膊膊膊膊膊膊膊膊膊膊膊膊
A seminar on Time Travel will be held two weeks ago.
?
"So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?"

I said "Sure厃ou look great, the world's your oyster, go for it.'"
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
A rolling stone gathers momentum.
ccccccccccccccc
Lottery numbers are like dates.
They look real good until the next morning.
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
Women! First they marry you for your money... then they divorce you for it!
? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ? ?
I think, deep down inside, little children *want* to be told the truth about Santa Claus. Why else would they stand in line for an hour just to sit on my lap?
sssssssssssssssssss
To make people wonder at a Halloween masquerade party, I'd go as Casper the Friendly Ghost before he died.
""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Get me outa here!!!

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Badguy4

"[I] never...dream because if my dreams didn't come true, I'd be disappointed, and if they did come true, I'd be even more disappointed." - Blue Ruin, by Brendan Boyd