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UMNO introduces
new party salute
| In its efforts to strengthen the party, foster
Malay unity and promote Islamic values, UMNO this month introduced a new
party salute consisting of an open palm repeatedly striking a closed fist.
The new salute was unveiled to thousands of stunned on-lookers by Pahang
Chief Minister Adnan Yakob at the nomination centre for the Sanggang by-election.
UMNO Pahang senior official Datuk K Bhutto said that the
salute - popularly referred to as the 'Adnan Hand-Job' - was selected after
Adnan had tested various salutes and greetings with crowds to gauge the
response. "He tried the classic middle-finger up, he tried the popular
red thumb squeezed between the forefinger and middle-finger, he even tried
to moon the crowd that day at Sanggang. Fortunately, nearby UMNO supporters
restrained him and he could only manage to wriggle his arse."
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Adnan showing supporters what he's doing to Pahang |
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Sanggang By-Election poster
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He said that the Adnan Hand-Job will now replace the
current salute UMNO members greet each other with - the upraised arm of
the Nazi salute.
"This new salute is a potent, defining symbol of
the UMNO struggle," Bhutto added, with tears of pride running down
his cheeks. "It clearly and proudly conveys the UMNO message: 'I am
an UMNO man … I can do anything I like and get away with it … so F*** YOU!'"
In a related development, the Tourism Ministry may consider
the 'Adnan Hand Job' as the officially approved way Malaysians greet foreign
visitors to the country. A Ministry spokesman who refused to be named said
that plans to have Malaysians greet visitors by placing the right hand
over the heart had run into opposition from hotels and state tourism agencies
and did not catch on. "We hope millions of Malaysians will now be
smacking their fists at tourists and at each other all across the country."
"And the beauty of it is that those bloody foreigners
won't even know we're telling them to f*** off! Buahahahahaha!!!"
he added with a maniacal cackle.
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