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You've Got VanderHawk!
You're invited to read my mail!
One thing that's true about Spencer VanderHawk, I like
people! And I like to reach out and touch people. However,
I had to learn the hard way that some people just don't like to be touched. Then, I learned to reach out through the world wide web. Here are some of my favorite e-mails and their responses.
Hope you enjoy my mail!
This first letter was sent to a site that I really like.
It's called Taos Hum, and it's a site dedicated to a strange
occurance that happens around Taos, New Mexico. There seems
to be a strange humming sound that people can hear, but no one
can figure out where it comes from. I also have a similar
experience that happens to me...
Dear Taos Hum-
I really enjoy your site. I am fascinated by the idea that people in the Taos, New Mexico area can hear this low-(or is it high?)-frequency hum, but they can't figure out where it comes from. It kind of makes you want to scratch your head and go 'Hmmmm"!. (HaHa!)
I have been experiencing something very similar myself, in the past few months that you might find interesting. I live in a small town called Retrop, Oklahoma. It's a very small town, I'm sure you've never heard of it. To give you a better geographical location, Retrop is about 30 miles due south of Canute.
Anyway, for the past few months, late at night when I go to bed, I have been experiencing a very strange phenomenon. As I lay down on my bed, I can, for a few seconds, hear and feel a low rumbling. Sometimes it's hard to pinpoint exactly where it's coming from, othertimes it seems as though it's coming from, dare I say, deep within me. Almost in the center of my belly. The rumbling only lasts a few seconds. At least I think that's the case, because I fall asleep very quickly.
Since this is a recurring event, I have chosen to call it the Retrop Rumble. I have asked many of my neighbors if they are aware of this strange noise, but so far no one has heard it. Is this something that you people at Taos Hum would be interested in investigating? Maybe you could send some of your people to visit me and they could witness this strange phenomenon for themselves. I can accomodate at least three people, if two of them don't mind sleeping on the porch.
We don't have any hotels or motels in Retrop, but if you drive about forty-five miles north-west, there's a Smuckey's. And if they don't want to do that, I make an excellent chili.
Anyway, I would appreciate it if you could get back to me on this. This has certainly got me puzzled, and I think that with your help, I can figure out what I'm hearing at night. Thank you very much for your time.
Sincerely yours,
Spencer VanderHawk
No reply from Taos Hum
This next letter was written to Reseda Discount Pottery.
They claim to have the largest selection of Estate, Outdoor, Indoor, and Wall Unit Fountains in the San Fernando Valley
I had a real emergency that I believed only they could solve.
Date:
20 Jun 2000 12:12:57 PDT
To:
resedapots@aol.com
Subject:
I need a special fountain!
Dear Reseda Discount Pottery -
I really enjoy your web site. You certainly seem to be 'overflowing' with choices
for fountains. (Ha Ha)
I hope you can help me. I have to replace an indoor water fountain. You see,
I was visiting my great aunt in Pacoima last weekend. She's 92 years young, and
she's the picture of health (except for a re-occurring toenail fungus).
Anyway, I was visiting her, along with my dog, Poochy. Poochy is a Frank Russell
terrier,(Not to be confused with a Jack Russell terrier, which have smaller genitalia) and is, what you might say, a little hyperactive. Well, we were watching TV, when the theme music from 'Access Hollywood'
came on. For some reason, Poochy goes crazy when he hears that music! I don't
know why, but he starts spinning around in circles, then suddenly makes a sharp right
turn and runs full speed into the TV. Fortunately, he's never hurt himself, but
it can't be good for him.
Anyway, since we were visiting my great aunt in Pacoima when this happened, Poochy
must have spun around one time too many, and when he made his sharp right turn, instead
of running full speed into the TV, he ran full speed into my great aunt's freestanding
indoor water fountain! That's why I need your help. I want to replace this fountain
with another one as identical as I can find. Your ad stated that you have the largest
selection of fountains, so I hope you can help me.
The fountain my great aunt has (or had) is about four feet tall, is dark black,
and is shaped like a hila-monster. The hila-monster is dark gray, and is rearing
back on his hind legs, with the water spewing out of his mouth. Along the base of
the fountain are several small frogs (maybe tadpoles). They are dark green, and
are NOT rearing back on their legs. They are just sort of sitting there.
Do you have this particular model? I don't know how old it is, and my great
aunt can't remember when or where she got it (her memory is not as good as it used
to be). I really hope you can help me with this. Money is no object, as long as
it doesn't cost more than $50.
You can contact me at: vanderhawk@meowmail.com.
Thank you very much.
Sincerely,
Spencer VanderHawk
No reply from Reseda Discount Pottery
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