Then Job replied to Eliphaz:
If only there were a way to measure my pain. If there was a scale to measure misery. Mine would weigh more than the sand of the seas. That's the only reason I've been talking the way I have.
God's arrows are still wounding me. Their tips have poison which still flows in my blood. The power of God is against me!
A wild donkey does not make noise when it has grass to eat! Neither does an ox bellow when it has what it needs. But all I have to eat is tastless food that makes me sick! I cannot pretend that I like it!
Oh if only God would give me what I have asked of Him. If only He would crush me and get it over with. Then I would still have the satisfaction of knowing this much - that even in the midst of unrelenting pain - I would know that I had not denied the words of the Holy One. At least I would know I had remained true to God through it all!
I have no strength left in my body. How can I hope for anything? What reason do I have to wait for a better day? Am I some kind of superhero? Is my body made of super-armor, able to withstand any and all punishments? Am I able to make things better for myself now that everything has been taken away from me?
A hurt man's friends should be loyal to him even if he is struggling in his relationship with God. But my friends are totally undependable.
They are like streams that flow when the snow melts but dry up when the dry season comes. A traveler sees abundant water as he passes by. And so on the way back, he goes out of his way to visit the stream. How disappointed he is to find the streams dry. When he needs water most, he finds a dry stream and dies of thirst.
That is how your devotion is. You are of no help to me when I need it most. You see my terrible condition and it has made you afraid. What are you afraid of? That this could happen to you too? Or is it that you think I am going to try to get something out of you?
Have I asked you for money? Have I asked you to pay off a loan for me? Have I asked you to fight an enemy for me? If I am wrong, show me and I will shut up! Yes, the truth hurts.
Your arguments have nothing to do with my present condition! Here I am in utter ruin and you are worried about making sure my words all come out just right! You are so heartless that you would even sell a freind for a profit. You would rather me be wrong than you be uncomfortable!
But do me this one favor won't you? Look into my eyes as I speak to you. I will not lie to you. Stop accusing me falsely. Think twice before you speak because my integrity is at stake here. Have I really said sinful words? Have I really spoken with hate in my heart fo the LORD?
Am I not merely speaking the truth when I say that a man's life is full of hard work on this earth? That our life here is like that of a common laborer? We live our lives like slaves who can't wait for the end of the workday. We are like hourly workers counting the hours until we are to receive our paychecks. And my boss has given me months of useless work. Nights of misery have been now placed upon my back. I do not rest at night. I toss and turn as the night drags on and think to myself "How long until I can get up?"
My body is covered with worms and scabs. My skin is broken and festering. The days fly by and end with no more hope than they had begun with.
Oh God, my life is so short and small. I will never see happiness again. I will die soon and then I will be no more. I will go down to the grave and never return.
Therefore I will speak what's on my mind while I still have breath! I will let my pain be known! I will complain with bitterness!
Am I such a monster that I have to be constantly punished like this? I think that sleep will bring me rest but even then You frighten me with nightmares, terrors so awful that I would rather be murdered than have to endure this life I have to live. I hate my life! Couldn't you just leave me alone and let me die in peace? I can see no purpose to my pain. No meaning to my existence!
Why do you care so much about mankind? Why do you bother to give him Your attention? You examine him in the morning when he wakes. You want his devotion every moment of every day.
Will you never turn your attention away from me? Will you never leave me alone for even an instant? I am not claiming to be perfect but how have I so hurt you as to deserve this God? Why have You made me your target? Will you not pardon my offenses and forgive me of my sins? For I am wasting away and will soon lie dead in the dust. It will be too late then for us to work this out. Next Chapter - Bildad talks!
Back to Contents Page
Back to Magazine Cover