a cynic's guide to modern life
what is a cynic?
There are three things that drive me absolutely insane: SUVs, cellphones and celebrity worship. I am rarely more cynical when I think about these three things.
The cynic in our modern society is a maligned creature, not much understood, and not much wanted. There are a lot of definitions as to what a cynic really is, but I prefer to think of a cynic as someone who decries idiotic behaviour and empty pursuits amongst their fellow people. Cynicism isn't merely raining on everyone's parade. Cynicism is a tacit call to the world to demand better from themselves and the society around them by expecting the worst of human behaviour.
But let's get back to my three pet peeves. Celebrity worship is the stupidest thing people engage in. Think about it. We spend awful amounts of our time studying celebrities, their habits, their relationships, what they eat, what they wear... only to applaud wildly when they get involved in some scandal or get caught doing something illegal. Or we simply forget about them when some new flavour of the month takes their place. This is the biggest waste of energy and time I can think of. And it's far more cynical than I could ever hope to be... putting someone on a high pedestal and then cheering when they get knocked off of it. If people put a little of their time and energy into the political process that people generations before them literally laid down their lives for, our society wouldn't be in the moral, social and financial shitter that it's in today. That's why I'm cynical.
Cell phones. The most pointless status symbol I have ever seen in my young life. It wouldn't be so bad, except more and more our aural landscape is being monopolized by beeps and rings of cell phones going off and pointless conversations that I fortuitously eavesdrop on. People wandering around yapping to people, ignoring everything else around them, making a nuisance of themselves and not being quiet. I once wrote that "telephones progress faster than any other technology. People want to be heard, when if they have nothing to say." That's why I'm cynical.
And SUVs. I hate SUVs more than anything else. Of all the bloated excesses our society engages in, the SUV has to beat all of them. We face a crisis of our environment. If we don't take serious steps to reduce the pollution and waste we generate, our planet will no longer support us. Everybody out of the pool. We're finished. So what do we do? Do we choose fuel efficient vehicles? Do we commute via mass transit? Do we walk to the corner store instead of driving? Of course not! We are so insecure about ourselves, fuck the planet and fuck our children! I am going to drive a vehicle that's too big for city streets and has notoriously poor fuel efficiency and then bitch about the price of gas! I am going to choose a vehicle that was supposed to be designed for off-road use and drive it to pick up groceries! And all because I have nothing to live for except keeping up with the neighbours. That's why I'm cynical.
You see, cynics don't want to see the downfall of society. We just want society to smarten up a bit. I am cynical because we have all the advantages... education, wealth, health and prosperity. And instead of using these things to actually make headway in this world, to help the impoverished, feed the hungry, and shelter the homeless, we buy cell phones, drive SUVs, watch Friends and buy Nike running shoes made from third world slave labour. We know the crises we face and we bury ourselves in hedonism while burning our lives away at office cubicles and checkout lines. A cynic is one who sees what's going on, knows that others see what's going on and maddeningly knows that nothing will ever be done about it.
Copyright © 2004 Don Porter. All rights reserved.