February 5, 2001
Today's glimpse comes after a short hiatus... because once again I lost sight of God. Not that I didn't believe he was there but I couldn't see what he was doing in my life the past few days. Because I couldn't see it was harder to believe. It was a period of emotional anguish; my life hurt and I couldn't see what God was doing... until yesterday.
"Though he slay me, yet will I hope in him.." Job 13:15a
These are Job's faithful words in a challenging time, he was determined that even if God were to multiply the sorrows of his life he would not let go. Those are pretty sounding and very spiritual words until you hurt and you need hope and you realize just what it takes to make that statement and stand behind it.
I again have seen God's faithfulness, though I've been a disciple for a long time and "I should know better by now" I struggle with very simple things. But God loves me anyway, he meets me where I'm at and he protects and preserves my life (Psalm 41:2). As I read the Bible I see that it's filled with people just like me.. people who had to fight and struggle to stand firm in their faith, to really 'see' God especially in difficult time.
By day the LORD directs his love, I say to God my Rock, Why are you downcast, O my soul?
at night his song is with me--
a prayer to the God of my life.
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must I go about mourning,
oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
Psalm 42:8-11
David learned the same lesson about the faithfulness of God through very challenging times. He struggled with his feelings and fears; he goes form understanding that God watches over him in love and sings to him to wondering if God has forgotten him. He comes to the realization that God was his only hope, his steady anchor. Something I have learned more deeply myself in the past few days. No matter what trials or challenges life may bring me... I have God and therefore I have everything. He is faithful to his Word, to his promises and to his character!!
God is love and therefore I can restate this verse from 1 Corinthians 13:7
"Love always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
to help me understand that...
God always protects, always trusts, always hopes and always perseveres (with me).