Letter from Terry Mack
As Co-Chairwoman of the Winchester Friends of Sister Plante, we have decided to permit the Merrimack Valley Supporters of the Suicidal to publish this piece of literature, Banning Is Wrong, on this website. Our decision is based on the following reasons:
All attempts that the Friends of Sister Plante have made to contact the Merrimack Valley Samaritans' Director, Gregory A. Miller, have been unsuccessful. Mr. Miller does not wish to discuss these important matters, nor has he ever returned our phone calls. Jean La Torella, our Chairwoman, has also attempted to contact that Merrimack Valley Samaritans' Board of Directors, offering to meet with them, but she has received no reply to her inquiries.
Our intention is not and never has been to injure the reputation of the Merrimack Valley Samaritans or any other Samaritan group. Unfortunately, our only remaining means of expressing our concerns is to openly state our views and reveal the principles and practices of the Merrimack Valley Samaritans to the public. We feel that what is taking place here is very wrong.
Our investigations indicate that Gregory A. Miller, Director of the Merrimack Valley Samaritans and a Medford resident, terminated Michael Ross from calling the Merrimack Valley hotline in 1993, the same year that Michael committed suicide. Mr. Miller has also terminated all callers who wish to discuss this matter or the case of Sister Plante, including those callers who are suicidal.
Since the Merrimack Valley Board of Directors refuses to address this matter, we would like to state that we strongly oppose, object to and protest the inappropriate decisions of Mr. Miller in his actions toward those who need befriending services or who are suicidal.
This is not a reflection upon the Samaritans as a whole nor an attempt to diminish the good work being done by the Samaritans. This is an attempt to bring awareness to the unacceptable and unfitting actions of the Director and his policies concerning the Merrimack Valley hotline.
Sincerely,
(signed)
Terry Mack, Co-Chairwoman
Winchester Friends of Sister Plante
CALLING FOR HELP
The Merrimack Valley Supporters of the Suicidal is a concerned group of citizens who seek justice for the lonely and despairing. The Rosses are a Winchester couple who lost their son to suicide in 1994. The Rosses requested anonymity after their son Michael took his own life. Michael had telephoned the Fall River Samaritans for over five years, and was said to have made numerous distress calls to the Cape Cod, Framingham and Merrimack Valley Samaritans as well. Michael was terminated from the Fall River Samaritans hotlines at a time when the (now former) Executive Director, Ellie Leite, was feuding with Michael's parents over her unwillingness to accept anonymous donations from friends of the Ross family. At the same time, the Merrimack Valley Samaritans decided to terminate Michael's calls as well. In our opinion, the Merrimack Valley Samaritans were imprudent in banning Michael's calls. They have continued to ban other callers who were in need of befriending. The Samaritans of Merrimack Valley, Inc. are not living up to the high standards of the Samaritans organization, both locally and nationally, as a whole. For residents living in the Merrimack Valley, this is a disturbing issue.
The reasons for our point of view
The Executive Director of The Samaritans of Merrimack Valley, Inc., Gregory A. Miller of Medford, Massachusetts, has shown a lack of professionalism in terminating and banning callers from the Merrimack Valley Samaritans hotline. We feel that his behavior is not only insensitive, but unfair and unkind. Mr. Miller is a friend of the former Executive Director of the Fall River Samaritans, Ellie Leite, who embroiled her agency in a lawsuit accompanied by unrelenting controversy. The fact that the Samaritans of Fall River/New Bedford, Inc. is now operating only between the hours of 8:00am and 11:00pm daily is one indication of the effect the five-year court and media battle has had on the organization. With all of the negative publicity, and anger over violations of confidentiality committed by the Fall River branch, one would expect that other branches would have learned something about handling callers with severe depression and other extreme problems. But this is not the case with the Merrimack Valley chapter.
Although it may be within the scope of the rights and privileges of the Executive Director of a charitable agency to make decisions about terminating callers, this does not mean Mr. Miller's actions were warranted or appropriate. If a caller is indeed misusing or abusing the Samaritans hotline, or is perceived as a threat to the volunteers, then procedure regarding termination should be followed accordingly. However, if a caller is terminated because of the Director's personal dislike for the caller, and/or for personal, political or circumstantial reasons, this is a blatant abuse of power by the Director. No caller should be terminated on the basis of prejudice, bias or ulterior motives! Specifically, no caller should be terminated because the caller's personal situation makes someone uncomfortable or because the Director was told by another Samaritans branch Director that the caller should be banned.
When someone is terminated on such grounds, then the Samaritans are not displaying the non-judgmental, charitable and benevolent behavior that they profess to uphold. We believe that this is the case here in the Merrimack Valley chapter of the Samaritans. We don't make this accusation lightly: we came to this conclusion only after much research and investigation.
THE ROSS CASE
THE INVESTIGATION, THE TERMINATION AND THE SUICIDE
Michael Ross, the son of a retired General and his wife, an international businesswoman, committed suicide in 1994 after being terminated from several Samaritans hotlines. Our subsequent investigations revealed that the volunteers in the Merrimack Valley Samaritans actually enjoyed speaking with Michael. Shocked that he was so abruptly terminated after five years of telephoning the hotline almost weekly, they informed us of other callers who had also been unjustly terminated. These volunteers, who wish to remain anonymous, were asked why they could not voice their concerns to Mr. Miller. They told us that his decisions were always final and that any feelings they had about the matter could not be expressed. They also felt that Mr. Miller's orders regarding callers who were terminated, as written in the log book, had to be obeyed, and that they were merely volunteers working on a suicide hotline, not professionals qualified to decide who should be permitted to call. Michael Ross committed suicide one week after his lifeline was terminated by Mr. Miller, as well as by Mrs. Leite and other Samaritans Directors. But Michael Ross is only one caller who we know was wrongfully terminated. We wonder how many other callers attempted suicide or felt hopeless and left with nowhere to turn after they were terminated. The volunteers said they felt terrible having to tell a caller who had telephoned for so many years that they could no longer speak with him. They felt even worse when they learned of his suicide attempt.
ABSOLUTELY OUTRAGEOUS, SHOCKING AND UNBELIEVABLE
The Samaritans' policy is never to search for or try to locate any caller or member of a caller's family. The Samaritans have a pledge to respect the privacy and anonymity of any person who uses their befriending service.
Given the above policy, why did Ellie Leite, former Executive Director of the Samaritans of Fall River/New Bedford, share confidential pictures, poetry and letters given to her with Channel 5's Chronicle and the Boston Globe? Why did the Samaritans say they believed there was no such persons as General and Mrs. Ross? They acknowledge receiving calls from their son Michael and heartfelt donations that they refused to cash. No matter what you see, hear, or believe about this story, one thing is certain: the Fall River Samaritans have broken every rule in their own book by sharing this information with the media. Speaking about this case on the radio when Fall River radio personalities hold positions on the Samaritans board of directors is inappropriate, misdirected and in poor taste. While many people have been skeptical about the existence of the Ross family, the public has become even more skeptical about the Samaritans' flagrant violation of their own privacy policy.
All of this, in our opinion, is a ploy to deflect attention away from the real issues. The Rosses do not have to step forward or reveal their identity to give a donation. Where is the humble and charitable nature of the Samaritans in dealing with a difficult situation such as this one? Was terminating Michael's calls the answer? We don't think so. In regards to termination, since the volunteers spend countless hours speaking with these distressed callers, perhaps they would have been better qualified to make such an important decision. They are more aware of a suicidal caller's state of mind than a man who exercises his power as Director by banning callers without a valid reason. Our belief is that if the volunteers had been consulted, these callers probably would not have been terminated so hastily--especially since these callers had utilized the hotlines for such a long time. Suicidal callers have few options as it is, and taking away their last lifeline of hope can be unbearable.
It is our belief that banning or terminating callers for no justifiable reason is not only wrong, but detrimental to these callers' well-being. Some of the terminated callers were told that the Samaritans could no longer help them, and that they were too dependent on the hotline. These reasons do not constitute justification for terminating callers who are suicidal! Termination often is pointless, anyway, since callers will often call under other names or tell various stories to camouflage their identity. They can also call other Samaritans branches, or convince volunteers they have spoken to in the past to take their calls secretly. If you think these things don't happen--think again.
THE SUFFERING IS SO UNFAIR
Many people suffer from suicidal thoughts or attempts for many years. Even with medication, counseling and hospitalization, they often remain trapped in a world of constant darkness. Those who are lonely and depressed wage a constant battle for survival. Part of their support network often consists of calling the Samaritans' hotline. This vital support should not be denied to them.
Whether or not Mr. Miller's friendship with Mrs. Leite influenced Mr. Miller's decision to terminate Michael Ross, it remains that concerned citizens who wish to discuss the Ross case, or address their fears about policy violations by the Samaritans, are being told, "the matter will not be discussed." The Samaritans is the one service that many feel comfortable speaking to in confidence. The Merrimack Valley Samaritans have now closed their doors to some of the suicidal by terminating certain callers. This brings shame to all Samaritans who are working diligently to aid the despairing. It raises questions about the integrity of Mr. Miller's leadership in the Merrimack Valley branch.
UNSAMARITAN-LIKE
The original founder of the Merrimack Valley Samaritans, a mother who had lost her son to suicide, did not intend to exclude, terminate, or ban any person in need from calling. Her goal was to establish a safe haven for troubled people, and to have a befriending service that would reach out to the community. This service is being jeopardized by policies that are unSamaritan-like.
Any search conducted by any branch of the Samaritans is not only wrong, but also a violation of Samaritans policy. To even insinuate that the Winchester family, who lost their son in 1994, may not exist is inappropriate.
Since Mr. Miller is not a director who feels comfortable with honest communication or addressing the fears of concerned citizens, we as supporters of the suicidal are left with no other venue. We will now reach out to the public. We will enlighten them as to the injustices occurring within the Merrimack Valley Samaritans agency. It is not the Rosses themselves who impassion us about this issue, since none of us know them personally. It is their heart-wrenching situation. The fact that the Samaritans violated this family's trust hurts us all. Terminating their son who was dangerously suicidal and then compounding matters by sharing confidential information with the media as the Fall River Samaritans did, was deplorable.
Our objective is to bring to public awareness the wrongdoings of an agency that professes to provide aid to the suicidal. Information obtained by our group is factual, thoroughly investigated, and researched before being distributed. The anonymity of callers is always assured. We will never reveal the identities of callers who have been terminated or wronged. Residents of the Valley are dismayed to learn that the Samaritans in our area, under the leadership of Gregory Miller, support the right to ban callers for whatever reason the Director sees fit.
Suicide is not a matter to be taken lightly. In fact, suicide is probably the most misunderstood act in our society. Often those who feel suicidal cannot turn to family or friends. The loneliness and desperation that accompany suicidal feelings can be unbearable. Because suicide is often perceived in a judgmental light, and because so many believe that those with self-destructive feelings are disturbed, mentally ill, or dangerous, the Samaritans are often the only ones there to listen. The Samaritans do wonderful work and provide a much-needed service. The volunteers care and give so much of themselves by their willingness to listen. As concerned citizens we have great respect for the Samaritans as a group and for the individuals who give countless hours of their time by listening to the lonely, depressed and suicidal.
It is because we care that we are so upset over this issue. Many of us have known someone who committed suicide or have friends who lost children to suicide. As a community we need to ban together by standing up for what is right. There are many people who need the Samaritans' befriending service. There are many possible ways to set boundaries, limits or restraints for callers who may need to be confined to following certain rules for whatever reasons. Complete termination and rejection is not the way to handle suicidal callers who are in desperate need. Furthermore, the decisions being made regarding termination have almost never included the volunteers. The most disturbing part of our investigation into this matter was finding that so many volunteers felt discontented, angry, and helpless when they were forced to tell callers who they truly believed they were helping that they could no longer call.
A person who is banned will almost certainly call another hotline. After enough rejection, the caller will most likely attempt suicide until he or she succeeds. The reputation of the Samaritans in Fall River has suffered from the publicity surrounding the lawsuits against them. Doubt has been created everywhere about the privacy policies, confidentiality, and trust. The Samaritans may have won the suit in the courtroom, but not in the court of public opinion. Questions will always be raised as to why any of this happened in the first place. The real losers in this case is not the plaintiffs or the defendants, it is the suicidal. It is a tragedy that hundreds of desperate callers and potential callers may never reach out to anyone, simply because a Samaritans Director broke confidentiality, betrayed someone's trust, or banned someone from calling. Let's help restore the faith once placed in the Samaritans' hotline by bringing attention to the injustice of what is happening.
Although as citizens we have no choice over who can call the Samaritans hotline, we do not have to stand for mistreatment of the persons utilizing the hotline service. The already desperate callers have little choice in being left to cope with their frightening and despairing feelings. Taking away the one glimmer of light, the one voice that listens to the pain, and the one lifeline for many, should not be the decision of one very insensitive, unqualified, undemocratic person. We may never succeed in our attempts to change Samaritans policy, but we can and will succeed in our attempt to enlighten the general public as to the injustices that we know are wrong.
INJUSTICE HERE IS INJUSTICE FOR ALL OF US EVERYWHERE.
The Merrimack Valley Supporters of the Suicidal
(a concerned group of citizens who seek justice for the lonely and despairing)
