Meanderings Archived

05/01/06 - 06/26/06



06/26/06 10:53pm

jesus is magic

Jesus is Magic (2005)

Steve Buscemi A Japanese "Cammy" Cosplayer
John Steinbeck Satan

Furthermore: Patently offensive, to use the parlance of our times. This shit burns politically correct nerve endings right off at the nubbin. But this is to be expected from the woman who wants to be the "first comic ever to shit on Martin Luther King." The stand-up is mostly funny, if only because of her stone cold delivery, and Silverman herself is a beauty, but the bullshit songs and skits in between are quite lame. Ehh.

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06/26/06 10:45pm


Harsh F'ing Realm Indeed

Shit. Awesome. Those cob-knobblers at The Times got exactly what they deserved. Well, it was funny in any case. Wiki is so dope sometimes. I linked into Chris Carter's preposterous 1999 series Harsh Realm, a seemingly perfect example of designed obsolescence, starring some douche named Scott Bairstow, who apparently pleaded guilty in 2003 to raping a 12-year old related to his ex-wife. What a lamestain. A big bag of blotation.

Did Stephen Colbert cross a free speech line at the White House Correspondents' Dinner, or am I just a broke erotic fiction writer with nothing better to do than practice playing devil's advocate for some obscure legal news website? You tell me.

The dude abides by the script. Or in some cases, not.

Can anyone truly say that they are the incarnation of a Tibetan lama? Well, no, not just anyone. Steven Seagal can. Steven, next time you're practicing ngodro, concentrating really hard on bohdicitta, and you feel yourself dissolving into nothingness - stay there!

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06/25/06 11:02pm


Ranch Dressing

I'll use this snapshot from a classic Payne Ranch Pick'n'Grin Hootenanny held a few weeks ago to introduce a new entry, wherein I shall discuss my latest musical entanglements. Be ye forwarrrned.

I took Soup with me to the office the other day, just another album in the continuing cycle of music-for-work through my collection, and after the inevitable nostalgic swoon, I ended up at the Blind Melon Wiki. Found some interesting facts. Especially dark was the bit about Shannon once admitting that he had no memory of the Soup recording session. Jeez. And I found out about the live DVD that was released in late 2005 called Live at the Metro. Haven't seen that yet, but I did listen to the more recent Live at the Palace album. A little short, and not the most crisp live show I've ever heard, but pretty good. The given track listing is incorrect, but nonetheless an excellent bunch of songs.

Some comments from JM about his upcoming album Let Me Go, Let Me Go, Let Me Go. And you can hear him playing three new songs in this episode of the "No Love for Ned" podcast. Incidentally, the guy that makes this music show also runs the songsohia.com website. If you want to get right to the Molina shot, skip to the 2nd hour, his live set begins in the first minute or so after that. But the rest of the music sounded good, and I may start tuning in regularly.

The latest Built to Spill, You in Reverse, is truly excellent. It never really sunk in just how jammy they are, and normally those kinds of bands turn me off pretty fast. In this case, great musicianship and interesting lyrics just make it so goddamn special. Good shit.

Non-musical, I know, but fuckin strange: another kidnap/bomb-belt story - this time from Sweden. Only thing was, they were pancake bombs. If not for the valiant efforts of the Swedish police, the poor sap would have exploded in a horrific conflagration of sweet cream and blueberries. It's dying time, down at IHOP.

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06/22/06 11:31pm


Long Gone Day

Back on the internets after a long drought. A few items:

The Clerks II trailer is fairly intriguing, especially that last bit with Jay doing his best Wild Bill. Laugh out loud.

Me and Mack broke in the new place with respect to 40k yesterday. I'll have the photos up soon enough. Someone lost, someone won. There you go.

So, Steven Seagal is a blues musician? Oh yes. Also, he's got an energy drink. Witness Lightning Bolt.

CNNsanity:
  • Everybody Here Wants You - Lot of energy into making animals procreate in captivity. Named after the honeymooners. Blegh.
  • Clone Wars - "Their performance is one thing that will make people feel warm and fuzzy about cloning." Hmm. I'm still reeling from the revelation that people race mules.
  • Who's Your Soledaddy - An interview worth reading. On an unrelated topic, cable news will be the death of us all.
  • Lamer than the Mavs - Ah, the Miami Seven. It was a Time article preeeetty fast. I'd say by the end of the day. Hilarious.

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06/22/06 11:10pm


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06/11/06 8:54pm

Munich

Munich (2005)

Steve Buscemi A Japanese "Cammy" Cosplayer
John Steinbeck Satan

Furthermore: Umm, pretty good. It fell right into place with al Zarqawi getting "bagged" this week. Love the X'ed out cover of Time, by the way. How America got its groove back. What's the message exactly? Oh I see, you sell more by not really making a clear statement. Well, cheers. Can I get that press conference death photo poster-sized, maybe with a beige matte and a nice stained walnut frame? Cool. I'm a little partial to walnut.

Anyhoo, an interesting film that fell a bit short of resolution, a bunch of hyper-realistic death scenes, see it/don't see it, whatever. Many parts are too drawn out, and then the more interesting moments (a deep-cover Mussad agent arguing about the state of Israel with his PLO counterpart as they share the same safehouse) aren't long enough. It's decent.

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05/31/06 10:07pm


When the Lines Blur:

(Ok, I switched the headlines. But that's it.)

Also: A local genius grabs some gas.

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05/30/06 6:15pm

Cherish

Cherish (2002)

Steve Buscemi A Japanese "Cammy" Cosplayer
John Steinbeck Satan

Furthermore: Definitely an indie. I read about this film after watching Empire Records again recently. Robin Tunney is in that one too (she's the mopey misunderstood one that shaves her head). There were some interesting ideas in Cherish, but on a whole nothing to scream and shout about. Many of the plot details don't make too much sense, but any complaints I might have are negated by the roller-skating, blow-dryer karaoke scene. I would watch the movie again just for this part.

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05/30/06 6:14pm

X3

X3: The Last Stand (2006)

Steve Buscemi A Japanese "Cammy" Cosplayer
John Steinbeck Satan

Furthermore: RIP fucking Brian Singer; by god Superman better be a fucking unforgettable masterpiece, because you left this one to wallow in a port-o-san of a director. And the writing: just south of unspectacular. "I'm Juggernaught, Bitch." "Dickhead." Ugh, so lame. So many atrocities were committed against the Xmen property in this movie, I can't even name them all. Sort of like the old Marvel "What if?" special editions. What if... Archangel never actually did jack shit, except act out some minor sidestory with his da-da? What if... Magneto went senile and decided to move a gigantic metal bridge, when he could just fly everyone over on a much smaller object? What if... Professor X's death and the subsequent poignant empty wheelchair scene makes you laugh out loud in the theater when everyone else is sitting there, mouth agape in horror and sadness? Fuck this movie!

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05/30/06 6:11pm

Wedding Crashers

Wedding Crashers (2005)

Steve Buscemi A Japanese "Cammy" Cosplayer
John Steinbeck Satan

Furthermore: Just not that funny. Boring even. Dry spells between jokes were way too long. The only parts that were amusing I'm not even sure were in the original theater cut. They seemed like the kind of improvised parts they usually leave off until the "Uncut, i.e. Throw A Few More Bare Titties In There" DVD Edition. Whatever. Lame. I think maybe I'm just finished with Vince Vaughn. After Swingers and Made, he's never played anything new.

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05/30/06 6:10pm

A History of Violence

A History of Violence (2005)

Steve Buscemi A Japanese "Cammy" Cosplayer
John Steinbeck Satan

Furthermore: Not that great, don't know what everyone else was jawing about. Acting? I guess. Direction? Didn't really notice. Story? I was never made to care. Boring. Lame. The Flower That Drank The Moon 8: My So-Called Life As A Mobster.

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05/29/06 12:28pm


Some Of Them Are Superstitious

Midlake's back in a big way with Trials of Van Occupanther, due out on June 9th. Apparently Europe's already privy (usually they're just a privvy) to the goodness, as evident in Midlake's myspace friendlist. The band's actual homepage at Midlake.net is one of those old school OK Computer-type clickery mazes; one time I found some lyrics from Bamnan and Slivercork, but that's about it. Instead, check out their page at Bella Union - the video tab takes you to the video for "Young Bride." The video's ok, nothing revolutionary mind you, but the song is fucking great. And so is the rest of the record. Alot of the same weird character concepts as found in B&S. And the music is only getting better. Very very good.

My Witch Hunters emerged from Saturday's Dragon's Lair 40k Tournament with two losses and a draw. I was never out and out slaughtered, and every game was a slugfest with plenty of action for both players. The Sisters Repentia were the belles of the proverbial ball, responsible for the destruction of an IG Leman Russ, a squad of Ork Kult of Speed Bikers, an Eldar Wraithlord and a large squad of Warp Spiders with their Exarch. My two Penitent Engines also had a field day with some Ork Bikers, but they were shot down early in games against Eldar and Imperial Guard. But *trumpet flare* I earned Best Painted once again, this time out of 9 folks. The pressure is too much. How can I maintain this furious pace of winningness?

The music and gaming helps to assuage the pain of quitting smoking, into which I'm two days deep... I am loathe to make any written promises, but I've been probing the dark shadows of my mind looking for weak areas, places where the monkey could break through and remount, and all barricades seem to be intact for the time being. All in all I feel like I'm up to the challenge. Still, it sucks absolute balls and I just want to fucking break something all the time. I beat Black yesterday, so I'll have to find some new digital murder victims sometime soon. BAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

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05/23/06 10:37pm


The Millionaire

Not much time to write but I wanted to post my pictures from Lebowskifest. It was awesome. Also two movies. Box.net now allows public sharing without having to create an account, so dive in worry-free there, little hosses.

Also I must have missed this news of a future Alice in Chains reunion tour...? Additional North American dates this summer? Sweeet.

Thanks to Shaneywulf McGovernmentspook for this Medal of Honor Recipients Storytime Page. Crazy.

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05/16/06 8:25pm


Oh My God They Found Me (I Don't Know How, But They Found Me)

How the hell are temporal transportation engineers supposed to generate the massive amounts of energy (at least 1.21 gigawatts) needed to accelerate matter to the speed of light while creating an intense gravitational field without the black market weapons-grade plutonium that only Libyan terrorists can provide? A bolt of lightning? Pshaw.

Damn bears are at it again. This time their helpless victim is a Macaque. Furry machines of slaughter, they are. At least it wasn't my caque.

I know it's Britney Spears and its paparazzi and pretty much typical news bullshit, but now we're analyzing celebrity baby carseat photos for child safety violations? Yeesh.

The new playable races for Dawn of War: Dark Crusade will be the Tau and Necrons. And they look great. So basically 7 playable races will be available. HOly shit. I'm suprised they're still going with the original engine, but I'm not complaining. Still works like a charm, and they can (pretty please) go ahead and finish out all the other armies. It does sound like they are going to tweak the single-player campaigns a bit, adding a strategic map feature where you can apparently employ macrotactics to take over the planet in question, managing your battles on a larger scale. A Gamespot preview with some screen shots.

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05/10/06 9:38pm


All Outta Me

Jamaican Me Pregnant

Cecil in Trenchtown for his honeymoon, just before he got his hair braided. If he sends me a link to a photo album I'll let you know. Excellent teaser pic though.

Mr. President, we have searched and searched the history books for any mention of this place you call "Israel..." Also, we can't seem to find the word "nukular" in our English dictionary. What the fuck are you talking about? Praise Allah, Jesus Christ, the Easter Bunny, and Santa Claus (PBUT). I liked this translation spoof quite alot. Very funny. Thanks to Kaylube.

I'm trying to get back into German, so I sought out a good Deutsch podcast to get used to listening to the language again. Once I found Chicks On Tour I knew my search was complete.

We're trying Lost on for size, going through the first season DVDs. Seems alright for now, hope it stays interesting. From all reports it will.

Added link - Great commentary from some real winners about a teacher in the National Bikini Team. CNN jumps in to really exploit the story, with their standard journalistic detachment, natch. Comment on this entry...


05/01/06 10:38pm


Black Ops Can't Jump

One of the more irritating flaws in Black - you've got zippo vertical. Still, who needs to jump when you can simply obliterate the random pieces of cover your enemies use. I haven't played through completely, but the game is pretty fun so far. I read in an early interview that the creators really like guns. And tried to make the guns seem as real as possible. Really real, as the man says. They succeeded at the very least in making them extremely loud.

I'm reading A Prayer for Owen Meany by John Irving, and it's pretty damn good. Some fairly timely commentary from way way back in 1990, all wrapped up in a novel with a great narrator and supporting characters. Apparently this book inspired Simon Burch? I didn't know that. Actually I don't think I saw that one. Jim Carrey? Hmm. Wonder if that did very well...

I went to an all-day 2000pt 40k tournament the other day, here's some photos. I did alright, beat some imperial guard, got a draw against orks, and lost to tyranids. Buncha horde armies. At least I never had to face the guy fielding 90+ Space Marines, 5 terminators (no vehicles). I did come away with best painted army, although admittedly it did come down to me and another guy, and I won by cointoss... There's another one in a month and hopefully my Witch Hunters will be ready to go; I only have one infantry model to paint but the job and all really eats up the day.

Check out These Aren't The Droids You're Looking For (admittedly the website lacks that certain something ie information). But all you need to know is that it comes on KVRX Monday nights at 8:30 and these guys just sit around and bullshit about the Star Wars Universe. So see, right there you know if that would be something you'd enjoy. I only wish I had heard of this before, apparently they've been at it for months and I just now read about it in the Chronicle. And of course they were giving any newcomers a hard time; I think the phrase "jumping on the bandwagon" was thrown about five or six times.

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