Friends
Friends come a dime a dozen. We are affected differently each time one passes though our lives. Sometimes they stay and sometimes they go. They say a person is considered fortunate if they have one good friend. This statement is true. It is sad but a true realization, the world is full of phony people. It is hard to come across a "friend" who is genuine. You could know someone for 15 years and consider them your friend, when in the long run, all they do is constantly take from you and never give anything in return. I have had so many people enter and leave my life. It felt like a revolving door. I was standing on the inside of the door and I constantly let people come in, use me for whatever reason, and then leave never to return again. To this day, only 2 people stuck around. I love and admire these two people but even they do things that make me stop and think: Are these people really my friends? It hurts to feel like you were trampled upon. It kills to feel used and taken for granted. I used to get so upset because people always used me. Friends can cause the greatest pains that get so buried in our subconscious that they are never forgotten. I had "friends" talk behind my back, steal from me, and just plain out use me. I have learned how to forgive those people but now I know what to look out for and how to handle situations when they arise. I found out that I would rather enjoy my own company than to have the company of a fake friend. It is a shame but the people who did the worst damage, were the ones who I held very close to my heart. The people that you would think would never do anything to hurt you. It is most difficult to have a discussion with one of your friends about the way they make you feel. Especially when they hurt you. No one wants to hear that they are wrong. No one wants to hear that the things they do are just plain stupid. There is a technique to talking to friends about things like that. For example, I have a friend who always has to be right and in their mind, they are always right. I could never have a constructive argument with this person because of that reason. I am not saying that I am perfect. I have flaws too just like any other human being. I too have to have the last word. I too love to be right. Who doesn't? I am constantly hurt by this friend and I didn't know how to handle the situation. I couldn't just let it sit there because the build up of negativity would soon bring me down. I was afraid to confront them because this person always answers a question with a question. It would have gotten no where, with me looking like the idiot and them walking away with a smile. It is best to say to a person like this..."When you do ____________to me, I feel____________because__________." You are not saying that they are wrong. You are not saying anything where they could call you weak or dumb. All you are making them realize is what you are feeling. No one could tell you that you are not feeling something. If they do, then you have every right to jump down their throat in a defensive nature. To me, if this person uses some defense mechanism in retaliation to your statement, they do not take your feelings into consideration. Honestly, they are not a true friend. If they decide to sit with you and talk about it, great! Then things should work out and everyone should be happy. If the situation tends to get repetive, then there is another problem. The friend is only telling you what you want to hear only to turn around and act crazy again. Competition is another thing that really gets me. Friends that are in competition are jealous people out to bring you down with their negativity. If you achieve something and your friends isn't as excited as you, or doesn't pat you on the back, then a light should click on somewhere and a warning sign should pop up. To walk around everyday with a competitive attitude towards your friend is a waste of energy. I had a friend actually say to me when I bought my first new stereo, "Where did you get that so I could buy one, but better!" What kind of thing was that to say? It happened so long ago I am not sure how I reacted. People like that are only out to steal your thunder. Stay away! Maintaining a friend relationship is not an easy task. You have to be open minded enough to see through people's false images. If you are lucky to have that one true friend, I give you an applause. If you are a person who doesn't really have that many friends because of the nasty things they did to you, I give you a standing ovation. I applause you because you were strong enough to stand on your own two feet and realizing that the only person you could trust is yourself.
©1999
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