 | The "Sermon on the Mount" would have been a musical. |
| Jesus would have *never* worn white after Labour Day. |
| Priests would get married... wait a minute... never mind. |
| The Gospels would have been Matthew, Mark, Luke and Bruce. |
| Mary's hair would have been FLAWLESS. |
| The Temple would not have been cleansed of money changers, just re-decorated. |
| The water at the Wedding Feast of Canaan would have turned into dry martinis with just a
splash of Curacao for colour. |
| The Triumphal Entry just screams for a drag number. |
| Replace the "Beatitudes" with "Fabulous are they..." |
| The Last Supper would have been a brunch. |
