Hints on which ideology to use...

BRITISH DEMOCRACY:
You have 2 cows. You feed them sheep's brains and they go mad. The government doesn't do anything.

BUREAUCRACY:
You have 2 cows. At first the government regulates what you can feed them and when you can milk them. Then it pays you not to milk them. After that it takes both, shoots one, milks the other and pours the milk down the drain. Then it requires you to fill out forms accounting for the missing cows.

CAPITALISM:
You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull which you use to breed the other cow as well as every other cow in the area. Then you start exporting sperm from the bull to emerging markets. After several years of expansion, your company issues an IPO to be listed on the NYSE. The SEC eventually intends legal proceedings against you and your spouse for insider trading. After a lengthy court battle, you are found guilty and sentenced to 10 years in prison, of which you actually serve 7 weeks. When you come out of prison, you buy 2 chickens. Then....

HONG KONG CAPITALISM:
You have 2 cows. You sell 3 of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all 4 cows back, with a tax deduction for keeping 5 cows. The milk rights of 6 cows are transferred via a Panamanian intermediary to a Cayman Islands company secretly owned by the majority shareholder, who sells the rights to all 7 cows' milk back to the listed company and proceeds from the sale are deferred. The annual report says that the company owns 8 cows, with an option on one more. Meanwhile, you kill the 2 cows because the feng shui is bad.

ENVIRONMENTALISM:
You have 2 cows. The government bans you from milking or killing them.

FASCISM:
If you have two cows, you keep the cows but give the milk to the government which then sells the milk to you at a higher price.

FEMINISM:
You have 2 cows. They get married and adopt a veal calf.

NAZISM:
You have two cows. The government shoots you and keeps the cows and sells the milk to your widow(er).

POLITICAL CORRECTNESS:
You are associated with (the concept of "ownership" is a symbol of the phallo-centric, war-mongerism, intolerant past) 2 differently aged (but no less valuable to society) bovines of unspecified gender.

SOCIALISM:
If you have two cows, you give one to your neighbour.

COMMUNISM:
If you have two cows, you give them to the government; and the government gives you some milk.

ANARCHISM:
If you have two cows, your neighbour on your left takes one cow, and the one on the right takes the other; while your backyard neighbour takes the milk, the bucket and the stool.

UTOPIANISM:
If you have two cows, Mother Nature zaps the cows, turning their udders into eternal milk-shake dispensers.

RADICAL FEMINISM:
If you have two cows, you declare a Central District free of bull oppression and sit around waiting for the cows to hump each other.

FEUDALISM:
You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

DICTATORSHIP:
You have two cows. The government takes both and drafts you.

PURE DEMOCRACY:
You have two cows. Your neighbour decide who gets the milk.