ACT 3
INT. 4077TH MASH COMMANDING OFFICE-DAY
We see Major Krychek sitting behind a desk and sitted right across from him was a woman. She was a tallish, willowish, thirtyish, blondish but not really. She was an attrative woman. She was also a major. Her name is Major Marita Houlihan. Others at the camp called her Unblonde, because of her hair color. The two majors are what Hawkeye likes to call "regular army clowns".
Marita
Major Krychek, I’ve heard that a new surgeon has been assigned to this unit.
Krychek
That’s correct, Major Houlihan. Her name is Captain Scully. Her resume is most impressive. First of her class, fresh out of residency.
Marita
Ah, I trust you will take her under your wing. And mold her into a proper, disciplinced officer of the United States Army.
Krychek(this is obviously a new idea to him)
um....why, yes of course!
Marita
Excellent! With only "him" remaining, he shouldn’t be able to make much trouble. Oh Alexei, we would finally be able to run a proper military organization! You will finally get proper respect, you so deserve.
Krychek(grinning like the cat that swallowed the canary)
Oh yeah.
Krychek stands up. Marita also stands up, approaching him. She slowly strokes his chest.
Marita(softly)
Oh yes, Alexei. I can’t wait!!
EXT. Dismal Chinese Country Road-Day
The camera follows the jeep driven by Radar, with Hawkeye riding shot gun and B.J. in the back. The jeep is bouncing up and down, because of the obivous poor condition of the road. The so called road is intended for cows and horses, not vehicles.
Mulder(to Scully)
So how do you like your new home so far, B.J. ?
B.J. is surveying the surrounding scene, seeing the war-torn land live is obviously a shock to her. She responds to Hawkeye’s question with a dismayed look.
Mulder(chuckle)
Not exactly home sweet home, is it?
At this point, Hawkeye’s expression shows that he thinks he might have spotted something. As the jeep gets closer, his expression slowly turns to one of disgust and rage. He points to the object.
Mulder(to Radar, agitatedly)
Radar, stop the jeep! Stop it right now.
The camera follows as Hawkeye leaves the jeep, revealing the subject of Hawkeye’s irratation. The camera’s angle changes and focuses on a chinese family wearing well worn traditional chinese farmer clothings, standing by a rice field. The father, mother and some cows are standing outside of the field. Two daughters, about ten years old and twelve years old were in the field holding sticks and poking the ground, looking like they were looking for something. Hawkeye runs towards the parents and started yelling at them.
Mulder(shouting)
Hey you! How dare you do this! Tell them to stop right now! Stop it!
ST-OP IT!! (pause) Ting Tse! Ting Tse!(chinese for stop)
B.J. looks quizzically at Radar, but he was too busy watching the scene to notice her. So she hopped off the jeep, and walked over to Hawkeye.
Scully(putting her hand on Hawkeye’s shoulder)
Hey, what are you doing?
Mulder(turned to her, clearly angry)
How dare they! How dare they think the lives of their cows are more important than their daughters! Do you know what they’re doing, B.J.? They(pointing to the parents) are sending their daughters out into the rice field to check for land mines, before they send the cows out to plow the field. Their own flesh and blood, for christ’s sake. And if we don’t stop ‘em, they are gonna be nothing but blood.
The camera focuses in on their face. We hear a loud explosion at this point. The two doctors ducked, and then turned towards the noise in reflex. The camera takes on their point of view. We see one of the two girls lying down, dirty and bloody. The other one trying to help her up, but to no avail. At this point, we see Radar running into the rice field and bring the two girls back out. All the while we hear:
Mulder & Scully(very concerned, shouting)
Hey, Radar!What the hell do you think you’re doing? That’s a mine field in there, you’re gonna get yourself killed! Be careful!!
Radar and the girls made it back. The two doctors immediately started to treat the girl. They discovered nothing, but superficial wounds. The girl was ok! After adminstering treatments:
Mulder(to Radar)
Hey, what were you think?! There was a mine field out there, you could’ve gotten yourself killed.
Radar(bewildered)
A......a.....a minefield?!(long pause) I just ran into a minefield? Holy cow, I could have been killed! Omigod!
Obvious shock written all over Radar’s face.
(end act 3)