ACT 2
EXT. NEIJING U.S. MILITARY AIRPORT-Day
Upon arrival, Mulder hop off the jeep and run off in the direction of the administration office.
Mulder
I’m gonna try to find out where Langly’s at. You find the new doctor. We’ll meet back at the jeep.
He left without waiting for an answer.
A legend: "AFTER AWHILE", appears on the screen
We return to the same location, but the jeep has disappeared. Mulder returned and seemed very upset. He noticed that the jeep was gone, but he couldn’t care less. At this point, Radar returned with Captain B.J. Dana Scully, M.D., the replacement surgeon for Langly. Mulder saw Radar, but since Captain Scully was a few paces behind Radar, Mulder failed to notice her. Captain Scully is a big contrast compare to Radar and Mulder. She is neatly groomed, wearing a full dress uniform. As oppose to Mulder and Radar in soiled green fatigues.
Mulder(yelled)
10 MINUTES! 10 LOUSY MINUTES! Radar, I missed him by 10 minutes!! Dammit!! (signs) I knew we shouldn’t have stopped to pick up Playboy and Celebrity Skins. I just couldn’t resist, this month’s centerfold said she wanted to be a military surgeon, or be with one....I don’t remember which. heh heh
Radar(grinned)
And I thought you get it for the articles.....(he noticed the jeep was gone) Holy cow, Hawkeye! What happened to the jeep? Major Krychek’s gonna skin me alive, if anything happened to the jeep!!
Mulder
Oh who cares about the godamn jeep. I can’t believe that s.o.b. left without saying goodbye! Some best friend he is.... The first thing I’m gonna do when I get home is fry his miserable butt.
Scully(tired of being ignored)
Anything I could help with, Captain uh....sorry, didn’t catch your name.
Mulder(startled)
Who the hell are you?
Scully
I’m Captain B.J. Dana Scully. I’m the new surgeon assigned to the 4077th MASH.
Mulder was surprised, since he was expecting a male. Also, for the first time, he was noticing the beauty of Langly’s replacement.
Scully(grinned)
What’s the matter? The cat got you’re tongue.
Mulder(leered)
No, but you’re welcome to it anytime.
Scully(laughed)
Thanks, but no thanks. I don’t like fast men.
Mulder(smiled warmly)
What a coincidence! Me neither.
Radar(frantically)
Hey guys, quit playing around. We have to find that jeep.
Mulder
You worry too much, Radar. I’m sure someone just borrowed it. It’ll show up sooner or later.(Knowing full well that it’s been stolen) Meanwhile, let’s get off our feet for awhile.
Ext. OFFICER CLUB- Day
Mulder
Let’s grab a drink, people. We can get to know each other better, while we wait for the jeep.
Radar(seeing the sign)
Hey Hawk...I can’t go in there. I’m an enlisted men. I’ll wait out here,
you guys have a good time.
Mulder(being drafted, he doesn’t care much about army rules.)
Details, details, details! That’s all you worry about. You need to have
some fun now and then....OH, I’ve got an idea. (pointing to Scully’s
captain’s bars) Do you mind?
Scully(shrugged)
They don’t go with my outfit anyways.
Mulder pinned the captain’s bars above Radar’s coporal insignia.
Mulder(grinned)
Voila! One Captain made on the spot. You’ve just been promoted,
kid. All right, let’s go.
Radar(worried)
Wait, wait. What about the coporal stripes on my uniform....
Mulder responded by dragging Radar into the Officer Club.
INT. OFFICER CLUB-DAY
They grabbed a sit by the bar. Mulder ordered a drink for Scully
and himself, he also ordered a grape juice for Radar. Radar, still very
nervous, is trying not to attract attention
Mulder(turned to Scully)
I’m sorry, we didn’t get to a good start. I’m kinda upset that my friend left without saying goodbye. So, sorry.
Scully
That’s perfectly understandable. Why don’t we start again. (extending her hand) I’m B.J. Dana Scully.
Mulder(shaking her hand)
I’m Fox Mulder. Everyone calls me Hawkeye though.
Scully
Hawkeye.....That’s a very unique name. How did you get that name?
Mulder
The Last of the Mohicans. It’s the only book my dad ever really liked. He named me after one of the characters.
Scully was clearly amused.
Mulder
I know, it’s silly.....
Scully
Oh, no, no....not at all. It’s just that my dad calls me Starbuck.....
Mulder
He’s a big coffee drinker, huh?
Scully(laughing)
No, it’s after one of the characters in Moby Dick. He’s Captain Ahab and I’m Starbuck
Mulder(smiling)
Wow. And I thought I was the only one....So who’d you pissed off to end up in this little hellhole in the middle of nowhere.
Scully(grinned)
I was foolish enough to accept the devil’s invitation.......I was drafted, two weeks after I finished my residency. I went to basic training a week after. Than I got shipped here.
Mulder(soberly)
Yeah, sometimes it seems like everyone over here are just kids. Take Coporal Radar Pendrell over there, poor kid’s barely 18.
Radar(whisper)
Sir, sir...That colonel over there is eyeing me over. What are we gonna do?
Mulder(whisper)
Just don’t let him take advantage of you!
Radar(louder whisper)
SIR!
Mulder
Just leave everything to me. Don’t worry about it. And let me handle all the talking.
Radar is visibly relieved at the prospect that he don’t have do any talking. At this moment, a four star general with a very suspicious look came over.
The General(to Radar)
HEY, YOU’RE NOT AN OFFICER. What are you doing here?
Radar(looking like he’s gonna cry)
um...sir, I.....um....
Mulder
General, sir! I’m Captain Mulder from administrative services. We are currently experimenting with a new form of rank. You must have heard of Lieutenant Colonels, Sergeant Majors and so on....Well, we are trying out a new rank called Coporal Captain and we would like to know how everyone feels about it. So what do you think, General?
The General(frowning)
Well, I don’t like it. Nope, I don't like it at all!
Mulder(to Scully)
Put one down for no.
Scully(pulling out a notepad and a pen)
One negative for Coporal Captain.
The General(leaving)
I don’t like it at all!
Mulder(Putting his arm around a very shaken Radar)
What did I tell ya, kid? Stick with me and nothing could go
wrong!
Radar(very green around the gills)
Let’s...let’s get outta here.
EXT. OFFICER CLUB- Day
There’s a new jeep in the spot where the stolen jeep was. However, this one had a general’s flag on it.
Mulder(ripping the flag off the jeep and climbing in)
See, Radar. I told you the jeep would be returned!
(END ACT 2)